Gold medals: Tom Daley and I

Pedallling backwards

Ok. I think I need to back track. Like a ton. Right back to London 2012 when I was just sixteen and Tom was winning bronze. It was December and the Olympics were already becoming an almost nostalgic dream. But the burning spark inside me and died down and turned to something else. The moment I watched Tonia run and jump off that diving board I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to dive. To dive from the highest board and perform perfectly in front of the entire world and be applauded and recognised for it. It was safe to say the games had inspired me. Yet here I was in a crappy Boots in Portsmouth feeling sorry for myself and trying to find the biggest pack of pads I could. Yup it was THAT time in December and it sucked. Christmas was still too far away to be getting really excited about and I just didn't feel like it this year. All I could think about was diving and where I could get started.

I reached forwards for the friendly blue of an Always pack when a soft, extremely familiar voice popped up slightly behind me and to my left, 'hey sorry I know I don't know you but are you ok? You look kinda sad'. My head whipped around and I'm ashamed to say my mouth did drop open the tiniest bit, 'umm' gawd suddenly I've forgotten how to speak; which was completely understandable considering Tom freakin Daley was standing right freaking next to me.

'Here'. Ok I have officially moved on from being just shocked I think I might actually be dying a little as Tom stepped forward and, as though it was the most natural thing in the world, gave me a long, warm, tight hug. 1.2.3.4.5. I breathed slowly. I counted and I snapped back into 'Piper-who-can-talk' mode. 'You know this is a little weird right?' the hug was still going on but despite my apparent protests I made no move to escape his hold and the amusement was seeping into my voice.

'I know, but you looked sad. And I am so happy I wanted to share it. Plus you are cute so I figured: why not?' He pulled back and held me at arms distance, winking. I laughed and raised an eyebrow. 'Nice try buddy but I've got a boyfriend and creepy stranger hugger isn't really my type.'

Tom grinned but then he turned serious, "my hug made you feel better though?". I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from grinning. "yeah. Yeah it did. Thanks" Silence descended down on us. It could have been awkward but I was too distracted by a pair of sparkling, friendly eyes to notice. Tom blinked and the magic was gone with the breath I had been holding.

Another uneasy grin, a quick hug and he was gone. Disappeared like a whisp of smoke. I snorted to myself at the cheesiness. Just great Piper. Why don't you just give up and become a poet. Chuckling quietly to myself I walked to the little cafe at the top of the street, my dark mood from earlier evaporated away.

There was Fabio, my boyfriend of about 11 months and 17 days. He asked me out at midnight new years eve, and every anniversary afterwards will always be surrounded by fireworks. So romantic I know. God, I was so naive when I agreed to date him. We were both in he same friendship group and I thought myself quite in love. We just never clicked and it took me all of one date to realise I did not fancy him one bit. I did try so so hard but I just couldn't make myself fall in love.

I would dump him but it would completely split up our group and to be honest I knew I would have to be the one to find new friends which just scared the hell outta me. Life can suck where love is involved, or in my case lack of.

"PIPER!" ugh. This was another reason I couldn't break up with him. Every time he saw me his face would light up like the Blackpool Christmas lights (do you think that poet job is still open ;) ) and he would come and hug me or kiss me or just be super duper delighted. I really don't get why the crazy kid likes me so much. I'm pretty sure I'm a cold and moody bitch. As he hugged me I wanted to wiggle and get out of it. He wasn't as warm as Tom had been and his hug just felt less...right. I didn't though. I hugged him back. I ruffled his hair. We drank coffee, walked along the canal holding hands and doing cute coupley things. I giggled and flirted and was the perfect girlfriend. And when a secluded corner came along I made out with him. That was just it though. I was acting. None of these emotions were my own but it was a job that had to be done so i did it. In my mind I was cold and clinical but to any one watching I looked like a girl who lived in valentines day.

'I just love how calm you are baby', I was picking this huge purple bug off my coat while Fabio stared at me in amazement. 'its like you never get ruffled or all emotional about anything- its so peaceful'. I studied my boyfriend carefully. He had no idea how wrong he was I mean I'm a teenage girl of course I have tons of emotions raging around in a feelings tornado inside me. For a second I felt something akin to despise as I observed him; he was just so simple and unthinking. I couldn't help compare this statement to how Tom had just known I was upset. I mean when a complete stranger can tell something like that and your boyfriend cant it feels like a sign. Luckily I resisted the urge to shout this at Fabio and simply laughed a charming little laugh, 'thanks Fab. Come on I need to buy some Christmas presents.

Normally on a date I would be focused on playing the part and never letting my façade slip. Today however, Tom kept flitting up; distracting me. Those eyes, the strong hard arms and the soft warm fingers. No calluses like guitar playing Fabio but smoothness.

I stared at Fabio, and almost for a second I saw Tom instead, sitting with a mug of coffee, smiling at me through the rising steam but then I blinked and it was Fabio again, waiting for an answer. Words just came out. I have no idea what I said because i was choked, stifled even, on an emotion just filling me. I don't believe it, I mean I met the guy for twenty seconds. Frowning inwardly at myself I forced my irritation at Fabio down and longed for this date to end. All I knew was that I am definitely gonna try this diving thing.