Blue-Eyed Devil | T. Shelby Imagines

➥ Don't Cry

Word Count: ~ 1,040
Warnings: Angst, war, guns, cursing
SUMMARY: Two broken hearts should beat better as one, right?

Welcome to the final show, hope you're wearing your best clothes

The train station was packed to the brim, much like a tin of sardines. A lot of people were weeping for their loved ones, some were stoic, you were among those who weren't reacting. Polly had insisted on wearing your Sunday clothes, to give the boys one last happy memory before they fought for the king.

Thomas stayed close to your side, his fingers just barely touching the skin of your bare forearms. You were beyond nervous for the Shelby men and as a result, you rolled up the sleeves on your button-up. It used to hold a stark white color but now appeared yellow with age.

You look pretty good down here, but you ain't really good

It was beyond yourself how you managed to stay so calm on the outside, despite the turmoil in your heart. the only constant was your beating heart, a steady, harsh thumping sound in your ears at an alarming rate. But you would speak nothing of it, your Thomas was leaving you.

"Four months." He said what seemed to be so long ago but what was really just a month prior, when the boys found out they were being shipped out to the Somme. Thomas appeared to already be disassociating from his emotions. You practically watched the life begin to drain out of the blues of his eyes.

Why are we always stuck and running from, the bullets?

He squeezed your hand and you glanced up at him, a forced smiling gracing your features. The feeling of his hand in yours never left even as Thomas boarded the train, the long hug you shared before pressing your forehead to his as a silent 'I love you' was imprinted into your memory. You would never forget him.

And he, you. Thomas found remembering the sound of your voice, the feeling of your skin, the heavenly smell that always seemed follow you helped him continue going. It gave him something to look forward to when he returned from the war. But every time the Germans would break through the dirt and fire at the boys, he often asked why.

It was always like that for his unit, running as fast as they could in the small tunnels before turning around and killing the enemies.

Just stop your crying, it's a sign of the times

His letters often told you to stop crying, he could see the tears staining the papers you hastily wrote on before sending away in hopes that he'd be alive enough to read your words. But you couldn't help it, after bottling your pain up for nearly two months it was as though a door that could never been closed opened up inside you.

And the tears and agony and yearning just spilled out. You tried to pick all of the emotions up but you had no chance to. Because every time you saw Tommy's handwriting on the dirty papers he sent, your heart broke even more and the cycle would continue.

Thomas continually reminded you that the war would soon be over and that crying would do you no good. You tried to listen but hearing about 'the times' being this way made you unbelievably angry.

It'll be alright, they told me that the end is near

After a year, Tommy began suggesting that the war was soon over. He even seemed to believe it himself. The Germans were thinning out, the tunnels were bigger... but you didn't believe him. Every time a letter came late, you feared the worst.

That one of the boys had been claimed by the grim reaper. Or that they were captured and became prisoners of war... it all weighed heavily on your weary shoulders and Polly did her best to help you. And in return, you helped out greatly with the company.

Remember everything will be alright,

In 1918, you were finally given relief. The war was over and the Shelby men were free to return home. And when they did, all was the same but one. Thomas Shelby was a shell of who he previously was.

The lackluster coloring in his eyes made your heart ache, while the painful beauty gracing his face made your voice catch in your throat. And when he hardly hugged you back on the train platform, something inside you broke once more.

We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here

Thomas Shelby was no longer the man he was, you could tell that much. The lack of love, the lack of laughter, the lack of... anything... made it extremely difficult for you to live with him, let alone be around him.

That was until nearly a year later when Tommy made an outrageous suggestion. "We should leave." You were rightfully confused but Tom made sure to explain. "Travel, anywhere but here. Just you and me... maybe I can be someone worth loving again."

We don't talk enough, we should open up

You'd never seen Tommy cry before and seeing the crystalline blue of his eyes glaze over with tears made you grab his hand. "Don't cry, please. You are worth loving... I just haven't been understanding enough." He took it well, you two stayed and still worked on learning to love the new versions of both of you.

Talking became easier and soon, affection grew, it was as though there was no war and Tommy was the same man once more.

Stop your crying, baby, it's a sign of the times

But sometimes you couldn't bare the fact that Thomas was constantly at risk due to his job. Being a gangster was the last thing you expected from meek Tommy Shelby. A freckled lad who loved horses too much for his own good grew into a blood covered man who loved nothing but his family.

Hearing Tommy wake up at night due to nightmares also made your heart weep. All you could do was hold him and hope he would get better. But somehow, he always ended up comforting your crying figure in the darkness. Begging you to stop crying because it hurt him to see you in pain.

Maybe two broken hearts couldn't mend one another after all.