Blue-Eyed Devil | T. Shelby Imagines

➥ Like Losing Family

Word Count: ~ 1,100
Warnings: Animal death, hurt-comfort, angst
SUMMARY: After the loss of your dog, Winston, Tommy comes and comforts you.

It simply didn't make any sense, how Winston passed. Your loyal dog, hardly ten years old and in excellent health. The only thing that could comfort you was the fact that you were with him in his last moments.

You've understood death from a young age, it had been something that always made sense. Even if you never had someone close to you die, you knew that it was inevitable. So why was Winston's passing so hard to comprehend?

Only a day had passed and yet it felt like a week. You didn't do much at all. Hardly ate, cried, and slept. It was mind-numbing. The silence in your flat irked you. You'd gotten used to the sound of Winston's nails clicking on the floor whenever he'd move about quietly.

Sometimes he'd flop on the rug loudly before falling asleep. Winston was a good dog, no, he was more than that. He was the best dog. He'd always been there for you. When you left home at sixteen, when you met your enigmatic partner, to when you got your flat. Winston had seen it all.

You felt horrible he wouldn't be there on your wedding day or to see you move into a nicer place... you also regretted not offering him a bit of your meal the previous night, he usually got your scraps but you absent-minded tossed them in the bin.

It was hard to think positively when you were holed up in your house... you were surprised Tommy hadn't come knocking down your door to see if you were okay. He called once to offer his condolences but Tommy's never been the best at comforting you.

He's always been rather shite at it.

But you found yourself wishing someone would hug you, even if you otherwise hated physical touch. That thought made you laugh to yourself, Tommy secretly loved being held and hugged... while you detested it and much preferred just being in each other's presence.

Almost as if you spoke of the devil, Thomas Shelby was knocking on your door. You didn't actually know if it were him, but the softness of the sound made you assume so.

It took more energy than you wanted to admit to get off your arse and make it to the door. You tried to hurry and unlock the door but rushing only made your hands shake, you took a deep breath and slowed down your movements.

"What're you doing here, Tommy?" You didn't mean to sound irritated but your voice was criminally underused lately.

"Came to check on you... you've never disappeared for this long before... I was worried." He looked sheepish, you wanted to smile at his awkward attitude. The gang leader Tommy Shelby, the man known for his cold stoic exterior always seemed to trip on his words around you.

You nodded at him, "I'm fine, Tom. Really." That was a lie and the both of you knew it.

Tommy really looked at you, in your eyes and it made it harder for you to keep up the act. "Love, losing a pet is like losing family." You clenched your jaw and thought about how long it had been since you last cried. A few hours, surely another session would come soon but you didn't want to worry Tommy.

"I'm alright, just tired is all." Another lie that he saw right through.

"Could I come in and sit with you? I brought some of Polly's famous stew."

You felt frozen in place, due to the fog your brain felt covered in... you had neglected your chores. The dishes were piling up, the floors went unswept, the shelves weren't dusted, your couch was still covered in dog hair... it felt wrong to rid the flat of Winston's presence.

"Um, it's a bit untidy. I don't think you'd like to sit in a dirty house."

"Since when have I cared about the cleanliness of your home?" Tommy asked, his voice soft and it easily chipped away at your resolve. Why was it so hard to let him in? You always pushed him to open up when he struggled so why were you so much more stubborn than him? With a sigh, you agree and step away from the doorway.

Per usual, Tom removed his heavy black coat and cap, and hung them on the coat rack in the hall. "Oh, it's not too bad. Much better than mine whenever Polly refuses to clean up me mess." His joke fell flat as you stand with your arms crossed over your chest.

It felt weird to have him in your space without Winston. God, you felt so stupid for reacting the way you are. "Hey," You hadn't noticed that Tommy now stood in front of you, blue eyes warm with concern. "Talk to me, please."

You tried to find all the words to explain the pain you felt and the confusion that filled your mind but all that came out was a sob as you began to cry. Tommy immediately hugged you to him, the feeling of his warmth made your tears fall faster.

The lack of support in the last few days made your cold exterior break down and now that Tom was here, you couldn't fake it. You needed someone even if you didn't want to admit it. "I'm sorry for overreacting, he was just a dog--"

"Don't apologize, he was your family." The sentiment made you feel less dumb for having such a strong reaction to the loss of your dog. "Try and not think like that," Tommy cupped the back of your head and pressed a kiss above your ear, "you've got to take your own advice and let yourself feel these things. Don't be like me and wait until you can't cope anymore..."

It was weird to know that Thomas Shelby was aware of his toxic traits, but it comforted you nonetheless as you let everything out.

When you grew relatively quiet, he drew back, "Have you eaten today?" It was almost as though he could see the lack of energy behind your eyes. You shook your head, "How's some tea and stew? It's beef, just as you like." That sounded nice.

"Yea, I'll put the kettle on."

"Let me, you deserve a break."

"Thank you, Tommy... for checking in on me. It means a lot."

He smiled at you and it hurt how beautiful he was, "You're always here for me. And I loved Winston too. He was a loyal boy."