When Love Met Destruction (Sitkolson)

Eyes Like A Carcrash.

*Ryan's POV*

        Its not like i didnt like dancing with Ricky. I just didnt like dancing in general, especially with Ricky who was already wasted and practically incoherent. Rickys hands were wrapped sloppily around my shoulders as he awkwardly swayed. Im not sure why he was slow dancing with me especially with the upbeat music that played around us. 

        "You're so stiff..." He looked up at me then a mischievous gin appeared on his lips. "But youre not the only thing thats stiff." He winked. My eyes went wide when i realized what he meant. "i mean my dick." Way to be forward, Ricky. He giggle like a little girl.

        "No shit." I backed away slowly, pulling his arms from around my neck. He pouted  and took another shot from the bartender who passed it to him. Great, just what he needs, more alcohol. "I'm leaving, im going back to the bus." I told him then found Ghost who was still swinging around on the stripper pole to also tell him that i was leaving. I couldnt exactly trust Ricky at this moment to even understand my words, since he is extremely drunk. 

        I left the warmth of the bar into the cool night air. Im not sure what time it was but it was definitely later than we all should be out. The tour bus would be leaving early in the morning to get to our next destination, and im not exactly sure if the guys are going to be able to make it to the bus on time... or even make it out of the bar properly. Id be surprised if they can even stand without falling over. But they are grown men, they can handle that themselves. I hopped on the bus and headed to my bunk to finally sleep everything off: the passing out, the alcohol, and especially Ricky's odd behavior. 

*Ricky's POV*

        My mind was swirling and doing backflips from the alcohol that ran throughout my system. It felt weird but nothing i wasnt used to. I've been drinking a lot again lately but i blame that on stress from the planning for this tour and things of that nature. I was still dancing in the bar/club place, but the whole atmosphere was just different without Ryan. It felt a lot colder and more boring than it was before, and my body had this weird yearning for his body's warmth. But i had to stop myself and remind myself through my blurred mind that i wasnt gay and that we were just friends. But i dont want to be just friends with Ryan, i wanted to be so much more, right? This was all so confusing and i didnt want to deal with it right now. I wandered aimlessly out of the bar scene and into the outside world. The cold wind bit at my exposed skin and i looked around in the dull light of the moon to find the tour bus, which of course happened to be a mile away. Did the driver really have to park so far away? 

        I made my way down the side walk and loomed both ways down the street. I didnt see any cars coming and the tourbus was literally across the street, so i slowly hobbled my way across the street. Just then, out of the blue, a car came speeding down the road, headlight blaring into my eyes as i stood motionless in the middle of the street. I was like a deer in headlight and frozen by fear that i was going to get hit by this speeding car. "Ricky what are you doing?!" I heard a troubled voice scream at me from the other side of the street, but i was a little preoccupied to look. The next thing i know, i was being pulled out of the way of the car onto the sidewalk by the tourbus. "Are you crazy what are you doing??" Ryan looked me dead in the eyes like i was a crazy person. His eyes were impossibly wide will fear and concern. I wanted to explain it all to him, i wanted to explain that its probably not what he thought, but no words could escape through my raspy throat. My heart was still pounding like a jackhammer inside of my rapidly moving chest. "I thought you didnt do things like that anymore?" He looked completely disappointed in me, and in that moment i sobered up as if i hadnt drank any alcohol at all tonight.

        Finally words formed in my mouth and i could explain myself fully. "It's not what it looks like." I looked at him, honesty seeping through my icy blue eyes. 

        "What do you mean?" He looked completely disheveled. "I look out for one moment and i see you in the middle of the street standing infront of on coming traffic!" I know he wasnt mad at me, and i guess i understand his argument, but he has to believe me. "And your eyes..." His voice trailed off as h clamped his teeth together, his jaw tensing, as he tried to compose himself and hold himself back from tears. "Your eyes were so dead!" Ryan was nearly on the brink of tears. Did he really care about me that much? "You wanted to die didnt you?"

        "No! of course not. I didnt see the car when i crossed the street. It came out of nowhere and i froze up. im sorry if i worried you." I explained as best i could. I guess, he kind of believed me because he just nodded his head shallowly. Sheesh, i attempted suicide one time a while ago on my sister's birthday, and this is what happens? Ryan stepped half way inside the tour bus, then turned back to me.

        "You should come inside, its cold and you're shivering."

        I hadnt noticed the goosebumps that speckled my cold arms. I was freezing and i definitely didnt want to stay outside in the cold anymore. I jumped inside of the tour bus quickly and found my way to my bunk, but i couldnt sleep as i lay motionlessly under my thin blankets. I still shivered, but it was drastically warmer in here compared to outside. My mind still whirled with adrenaline and thoughts and there was no way i was going to sleep any time soon. "Ryan?" I whispered awkwardly. I heard him grunt from above me because his bunk was directly above mine. "I assume you're still awake..."

        "Yes, Ricky, im awake." he answered in the same whisper as i did. 

        "I cant sleep..."

          "Oh..."

        "And im cold..." I continued, insinuating his company a little bit, but i dont think my hints were working.

        "Do you want my blanket?" He offered kindly.

        "No, i want you." I waited through the silence for his answer that didnt come. He sighed and i heard a thump beside my bed, then my curtain opened slightly.

        "Fine, but once the guys come back im pushing you out of the bed to make it look less awkward." He looked at me then sat beside me on the bed. His warmth was immediate and there was no stopping my body from clinging to his. I wrapped my arms around his body, draping my left arm over his stomach then decided to test the boundaries. I moved my hand down lower and that immediately earned me a glare then right after i felt him pull my arms back up his body, away from his pants. "Dont push it." I giggled then fell asleep in his warmth moments later.

        *******************************************************************************

Really late update but i hop you liked the chapter! I also, realise that the title is lyrics from a BMTH song and this is a MIW sotry, but oh well, suck it up lol 

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