Just a stupid boy

Fuck, Im so stupid.

                                       959 words :)
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His right hand is planted on the headboard and the other beside my head.. he looks at me for a solid 10 seconds, I'm nervous. But I don't show it. He smirks before he moves in to kiss from my jawline to my neck, my heart beats through my chest, and my breaths grow long and heavy. He moves his hand off the headboard and drags his thumb over my lower lip after lifting himself from the Crook of my neck.. (to my disappointment). He looks so hot like this, his hairs in his face, his lips swollen from how harshly he's kissed my neck.. definitely leaving hickeys.

The smirk on his face makes my gut twist. The tension In this moment is unbearable. But I stay calm. I grin back with my own smirk, and place my right hand lightly over his throat. The smirk leaves his lips and instead they part to let out a small moan.

"Fuck" he groans out. I like the sound of this from him, but I want to hear my name. I want to hear him scream it.

But then everything fades.

I wake up, the sun glaring through the windows, the silk sheets slightly warm from where I laid, and the right side of the bed empty, but clearly wasn't that way last night.

"Fuck" I whisper as I lift the comforter off me only enough to see if I am clothed or not, I am.. but not in the same clothes I was in earlier. I'm in Vinnies shirt and boxers, my hair is  in a low messy bun.. and my face feels washed.

What the fuck happened?

I set myself back down on the pillow aggressively with a huff. Staring at the ceiling with all of the thoughts, questions, just confusion. Did we do anything? How drunk was I? How did I end up in his bed? And above all.. what the fuck was that dream?

"Good morning dumb ass" there he stands, in the door way.  I lift myself up as fast as I can and stare at Vinnie for a split second before I'm opening my mouth "what the fuck happened last night?"

He smiles, and genuinely smiles.

"You don't remember?"  He says slowly while walking towards the bed.

"Should I?" I ask more intrigued than I was before.

"Nope" his tone is normal, simple.

He sits at the foot of the bed, and looks up at me, he's wearing his pyjamas. White shirt, and just a simple pair of sweats. His chain is on, and his hair is messy. He looks hot, even In the morning.

"You scared me"

I snap out of whatever trance he admittedly has me in, with just his smirk.

"What?"

"You scared me."

I hold back a grin.

"And why is that Vin? Do you love me or something?"

"Shut up. Not even close."

"Mhm" I laugh at how defensive he got at that comment.

"You fainted. And I had to carry you to the bed."

Okay, but how did I end up in his clothes?

"And why am I in your clothes?"

"Because you woke up, still drunk. But you woke up. You were demanding me to give you pyjamas, and a face cloth."

I laugh. "Even when I'm drunk I'm a bitch"

He laughs as well. "Always"

"Hey! Only I can say that!"  I snap at him playfully.

"And what are you gonna do about it?"

"Don't sta-"

I'm interrupted with his lips. My eyes instantly close, and my hand goes to play with his hair, as his lips sit against mine, and both of our lips begin to move so correctly together.

What the fuck is going on? Should I stop him?

I grab his neck slightly, and I remember the dream.. What the hell was that dream?

He pants slightly, as do I.

"Vin.."

"Sorry"

He grabs my wrist softly and places it on my lap, getting up off the bed and leaving the room without a word.

"What the fuck." I whisper, still trying to catch my breath.

My hand goes to my lips, fuck. I'm dumb. Why did I stop? Why did I stop him?

So many fucking questions.

He's probably embarrassed. Well, that is my fault.

I drop my hand from my lips and put it right back up to my hair, In an attempt to fix it.. but I forget quickly that it's tied back.

Fuck I'm so stupid..

So fucking stupid. 

That felt so good, and so right. But what the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are we doing?

We've been friends for years, and obviously flirt here and there.. but never considered having any feeling, or doing anything.. but doing something felt fucking amazing.

Not to mention, the dream. That fucking stupid dream. Why did I have to wake up? Why couldn't that dream continue where it was at.

I lay my head back on the pillow, still confused. Confused on how I feel, confused on what just happened, confused on what the fuck I need to say to him, and what he's doing right now. What is he doing anyways? Is he ok?

So many fucking questions.

Do I have feelings for him?

No. I can't. Not Vin. Not my childhood best friend.

Pull yourself together.

I rub my face, and then swing my legs over the side of the bed. Taking a deep breath before I stand up fully.

I walk downstairs, and he's nowhere to be found, his car is gone.

Fuck.

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How much do y'all hate me right now?
Sooo, can we all agree that this is off to a good start?
I'm actually quite impressed with myself..

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Any guesses on what might happen next?:)