Sunday May 9. 9:10pm
A teen's nightmare.Oh no, I'm dead! This can't be happening, please, I can't break this news to her, it will tear her heart to pieces. Can you tell her? Please, I asked my sister-in-law. This was not supposed to happen. I am supposed to make her proud, but now I am doomed.
I am ashamed of myself and maybe that is the reason he left me. Maybe he was ashamed of me at birth. Well this was how I felt. I am not good enough, I whispered this to myself. She has taken on both roles and sacrificed greatly to ensure that I was Ok. I failed her, Just as he disappointed me I disappointed her. What have I done.... sigh.
I was already two months pregnant when I found out. I was at school one morning when my uniform zipper burst open, I shared it with my friend Samantha who followed me to the Home and family management room to get it stitched.
On our way back to class she smiled and asked, " How did your uniform burst open like that? Are you getting fat or you're pregnant?"I smiled nervously and said, '' I don't know. I have missed my period but I thought it was just an issue I had with blood. She told me to get a pregnancy test just to be sure.
I honestly thought I did have a blood issue as my mom was feeding me beetroot ever since I told her I missed my period. I wonder why she didn't have me do a test immediately. She trusted me and this is why I don't have the guts to tell her.
I asked Samantha please not to say anything to anyone. As we walked down the corridor I felt as if I was going to suffocate as the uniform was extremely tight!
As we entered the classroom, I could feel the suspicion on some of my classmate's faces as they stared at me. Some were even whispering and asking Samantha questions behind my back. Luckily she was a good friend that could keep a secret. She did and said everything she could to distract them and it worked...
May 12 11:00pm.
On my way home from school, I bought a pregnancy test. I could not wait to go home and try it. This was my first time doing this. You can just imagine how curious I was.
There was no better place or person to do this with but at my boyfriend's house. I hid the test until he was available. One evening we sat together and talked about it and by his response, I could tell he was ok with either outcome. This gave me a sense of comfort with him but on the contrary, I sighed heavily.
After completing the test my heart pounds, i held it wrapped in tissue paper for a few minutes to avoid looking.
I tried building a conversation with him. It didn't take very long for him to lose patience.
Trevor: "where is the test? "
Sighed, "I did it but I'm afraid to look at it."
Trevor :"cut the crap and get it over with, whatever it is we will have to face it."
With a pounding heart beat in glance, I paused for about 10 seconds as tears flowed down my cheeks, I shove it to him and turned my back. As I cried my eyes out, he hugged me and we cuddled on the floor.
This was the end for me at William Knibbs memorial high school. I am now gonna be a mother, unfortunately.
My life is over.
The news was finally broken to my mom by my sister-in-inlaw and as I anticipated she was terrified. We had a meeting and the discussion was for him to have me do an abortion because it's a must that I complete school.
He got angry and said, "do whatever you feel like doing, I'll pay". Immediately I knew that wasn't gonna be an option. I will not agree to it. I did not. My daughter is now in her teenage years and I never regret bringing her.
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SachbücherMy life journey without my father's presence was a rocky one. My father, who was supposed to be my first love did not stick around. This, affected me emotionally, cognitively, physically, and financially. This forced me to find love elsewhere with n...