TW: Panic Attack? Existential Crisis? Yelling?
i lost control today
i yelled at someone
i almost cried
i stopped myself though
i had to
i cant do that at school-
i cant do that around others
i cant worry them-
making them sad and worried it sthe opposite of what i have to do
i have to be able to make people happy
that’s my job
and if i cant fulfill that job?
what’s even the fucking point?
what’s the point of living if im not doing anyone any good by being there?
i just do more damage than necessary
i always talk about myself
i have to stop that
if i dont i might as well just hide in a corner forever and mumble words of affirmation
you’re ok
people like you
you’re not gross
everyone will leave you
Your family is proud
Nobody actually cares
you can achieve your goals!
You’ll never amount to anything
you’re worthless
you cant even help yourself from crying
YOU HAVE TO EVEN COVER UP THE MISTAKE THAT IS YOURSELF WITH FUCKING MAKEUP
YOU CAN'T EVEN LIVE WITHOUT THE AFFIRMATION OF OTHERS
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE
YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYONE ANY FAVORS
JUST LEAVE FOR FUCKS SAKE!
i know it’s not true
i know people love me
but i can’t help myself from imagining what it would be like
if i made one mistake
causing everyone to hate me.
