2015.

2-25-15

I feel like this year is different. People are different. People have changed. In good ways and bad. So far, I've completed my resolution. Hopefully it stays that way haha. 

I don't know why I'm writing right now. I guess I just want to. Today, in class, I looked out of the window and saw the snow coming down. It made me think that I was in a snow globe. Snow makes me smile. I don't know why I smile when I see snow. 

That was totally random. Nothing big really happened today. However, there was a moment during the day when I just went back to the past and relived the moments of me and my ex. That wasn't so great. Ever feel like you're not good enough or something's wrong with you? I sometimes want to rewrite the past. There are things I would like to have a redo. Wouldn't that just be great if we could do that?

I realized that I'm a very weird person. During classes today, I was talking to people and tried to make a joke and it wasn't at all funny and I kept laughing at my own jokes. I'm so weird x')

I don't know how many people read this or anything I write, but thanks for reading I guess to whoever is. I tend to rant a lot. Just speaking my mind. 

What do you do when you like this person but don't know how to get their attention? I mean you have their attention but they keep giving you mixed signals and it's like you don't know whether or not to keep on liking the person or not. 

I'll start ranting about boys now. Boys are just confusing. They can be stupid sometimes (no offense male beings out there in the world, i still love you guys). They act one way then act a different way around other people. I hate it when guys acts cool around their friends and act like a dick to girls when they are with their friends but nice and sweet with just the girl alone. It is just me or do girls tend to overthink everything? Guys seem to not put that much thought into things and girls see it as a different way and we over think about it and then we freak out. Again, sorry boys for all the girls who freak out at you because you did something wrong when you relaly didn't. That's how us girls are I guess. 

Love. Do you guys believe in that? The happily ever after?  Part of me does but part of me doesn't. I really don't know how to feel about that. Love is cruel and can be deceiving which sucks. But I don't know. I would like to hope that it exists out there. Then again, the world is awfully messed up that I don't know what exists or what doesn't. 

Spring is coming up and I can't wait. I'll miss winter but I want the cool spring days here so I can wear shorts omg. 

I have a Speech meet thing tomorrow. Ugh, I absolutely suck. I want to become better though. Wish me luck? 

The moment where you realize how many people you've lost over the past year or so. I miss a lot of people. It hurts that they don't realize that they hurt me. I hate when that happens. Will it ever get better? No matter how kind I am to others or do nice things, it seems like I will always get hurt. I don't know.

Last thing before I go, thank you for everyone that has stayed by my side and is still talking to me. Thank you for not completely forgetting about me. It means a lot. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for brightening my day up. Thank you for bringing me up when I'm down. Thank you for wasting your time to get to know me after all these years. Thank you for everything that you guys do. You guys all matter to me very much and I want you guys to never think down about yourself. If you guys did that, I think that would hurt me more then for you guys. You guys mean a lot to me and I can never show you guys exactly how much. I love you guys. x