Langst Oneshots

Change

Hi. I know it's been awhile and I AM SO SORRY. I decided to come back, even if my mental didn't get any better, because God i need this book tot vent and get away. Updates will be slow, I will need anyone who had request to dm their requests, and my old discord doesn't work so anyone who tried to friend it, im sorry but it is  out of order. my new one is  pan-derman#3266

pretty much everything from now on it going to be vent-y and less shippy unless requested so sorry

thank you guys for understanding and here is a small story. 

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Change is one of my worst fears. Yet, it's exactly what I need to what to live. 

I hate when I have to switch schools, get new classes, and I hated when the teachers changed the seating charts. 

I hated when The shows I like got rid of a character, even if it was a character I hated. I hated when they would replace that character. Why change it? It was perfectly fine just the way it was!

I hated having to leave my friends, or whenever they would leave me. I mean, why else would I still be hung up on a boy who will never like me back? It's been seven years and at this point I just don't care anymore. 

I've spent the last 17 years of my life trying to make everything stay the same. I just want everything to stay the same! Why does everything have to change? How come I had to come to fucking space and get trapped here? Why did everything have to change?

I have sacrificed everything! EVERYTHING TO BE WHERE I AM NOW AND IT ISN'T WORTH IT! MY HAPPINESS IS GONE, MY WILL TO DO ANYTHING IS GONE AND NOW EVERYONE HATES ME!

WHY CAN'T EVERYTHING STAY THE SAME? HOW COME HE GETS HIS DREAM GUY WHILE I'M BEHIND THE LINE FAR AWAY AND I KNOW HE'LL NEVER LIKE ME BACK AND I KNOW IT'S NOT HIS FAULT BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO BE MY FRIEND! WE USED TO BE SO CLOSE, FUCK! WE NEVER LEFT EACHOTHER'S SIDES AND NOW I'M STUCK ALL ALONE WITH FRIENDS WHO I'M ALWAYS THE SECOND PERSON TO! I JUST-

I don't like change.

It's an excuse to forgive the person who hurts you.

an excuse for everyone to leave.

an excuse to hate yourself. 

an excuse I don't like to hear.

So i drop the letter and let the pills take over my body.

This might be the only change I won't regret.