Numb L.S.

chapter 6

//Harry's POV// Well. . . i'm just going to skip to it. Liam found Louis and I on the floor, naked, and he just looked at us and frowned then walked out. He didn't even tell the boys. Louis is of course, back to being rude. of course. We're back in the living room, all of us watching TV and Zayn says "Lads, we probably need to go get food for the road. Anyone coming to get some with me?" Zayn says, getting up. Niall chuckles and says, "Get some? Really Zayn?" "Niall, don't make it something it's not. please" Zayn says. "Anyways, Liam? Louis? Harry? anyone wanna go?" They all say yes except me. "No, I think I'll stay. I just. . . don't feel like going out right now. sorry" But really, I have no reason to get food. I won't eat it. "Sure Harry? want us to get you anything?" Niall asks. "No, thanks. I'll just eat whatever you guys get." And with that, the boys leave // I walk into the bunker room, grabbing a guitar. I've been working on a song so i grab my journal type thing and then walk into the living room. I sit down on the coach, not hearing anyone come inside the bus. I then start to sing the song I wrote a while ago. I got a heart and I got a soul Believe me I will use them both We made a start Be it a false one, I know Baby, I don’t want to feel alone So kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks A long way from the playground I have loved you since we were 18 Long before we both thought the same thing To be loved, to be in love All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you I wanna love like you made me feel When we were 18 We took a chance God knows we tried Yet all along, I knew we’d be fine So pour me a drink Oh love, let’s split the night wide open and we’ll see everything We can live in love in slow motion, motion, motion So kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks A long way from the playground I have loved you since we were 18 Long before we both thought the same thing To be loved and to be in love And all I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, ooh And I wanna love like you made me feel When we were 18 When we were 18 Oh lord, when we were 18 Kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks A long way from the playground I have loved you since we were 18 Long before we both thought the same thing To be loved and to be in love And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you I want a love like you made me feel When we were 18 I want a love like you made me feel When we were 18 I want a love like you made me feel When we were 18 The song is about how I've loved Louis since I was 18. well, i've loved him since i was 16, but i didn't know it then. "Wow Harry. . . That was really good!" Louis says, making me jump. "What the hell are you doing here?! I thought you went with the boys!" fuckkkkkkk "I decided to come back to make sure you don't. . . you know again. . ." Awkward silence. "Well, I'm not so go away Louis" "No. Harry. . . I wanted to apologize for how I've been acting. . .I don't hate you. actually the complete opposite really. I'm really sorry. I should have never treated you that way. You aren't fat or ugly or worthless or anything i've said. Harry I. . .-" "Stop Louis! Don't even try and apologize! You've done it before, and you just went back to being rude. Please don't get my hopes up." I interrupt. "Please Harry, I'm sorry! And i'll prove it to you." He pauses for a minute. "Harry. . . Can I kiss you?" He says slowly, not making eye contact. i nod. He leans in. I feel his breath on my lips and I feel my cheeks flush. He presses his lips to mine. I freeze up, because this is the first time hes actually kissed me and it meant something. at least i think it means something to him, because it means something to me. I kiss him back after a moment, and then he pulls back. "Harry. . . we can't. . . I'm sorry." He says, tears in his eyes as he runs to the bathroom. What the hell? He always fucking leads me on! //Louis' POV// I don't know why I ran away from Harry. I didn't want to, it just kinda happened. All I can think about is that this is wrong. So wrong. I shouldn't have kissed him. He'll kill me. . . Oh my god I should not have done that. I feel coldness come over me. A darkness. Great, it's getting bad again, I can tell. You see, I have a bad past. I used to get bullied when I was younger, and abused. I really shouldn't tell you this. . . Oh well no one will fine out right? My dad used to abuse me. Like bad. He broke 7 of my bones before. I went to the doctor and they asked what happened and I lied through my teeth. I said I was on my bike and I ran into a brick wall. They believed it. I always hid it well. I mean it went on for 8 years, i guess i would have to be good at it you know? I also used to cut. All the fucking time. Not on my wrists because them someone would see, no, I always did it on my thighs, stomach, hips, or chest. I used to have cuts everywhere. I stopped for awhile. Maybe a year. The boys never found out. And if they did, they just didn't care. I don't believe that my dad hates me, I just think I'm his punching bag. His stress reliever. Every time we all go back home for a few months after the tour ends, and the small breaks in the tour, My dad beats me. I have to hide them from the boys every time. Sometimes I wish the boys knew. But they can't because they would get my dad to go to jail, And I don't really want that, no matter what he did to me. I havn't been to the doctor to refill my prescription in forever so I should probably do that. Maybe that's why I've been so rude to Harry. I'm such a fuck up. I have about 3 prescriptions for my problems. When we get back home, I'm going to refill them. I have to. But I don't want to get better. I just want to die. I fucking know people have it worse so don't say that. My dad also raped me. Yeah I know I should really tell someone. But I can't. Not even Harry. He's also fucked up too so he couln't help. Wow i'm such fucking bitch! //still Louis' pov// I have said all my goodbyes to the boys, and I am on my way to my house, also known as hell. I still haven't moved out of my parents house yet. Well, I did, And I moved into a flat with Harry, but moved out around last year. Now I'm back at my parents house. My mom doesn't know anything going on between my dad and I. And it will continue to be that way. No one can know. I decide to stop by the pharmacy on my way home, and I ask the pharmacist for my prescriptions. She knows me personally, so she doesn't tell anyone. "Here's the Prozac, and Zoloft. The Lithium should be ready in around 10 minutes." Maria says and smiles. I thank her and walk off to get some groceries. I grab bandages and antibiotic because. . .Well I'll probably need them if I'm going back to my parents house. Thinking of my sisters, I grab Lottie and Fizzy some nail polish and makeup, Daisy and Phoebe both a stuffed animal, and I also got Doris and Ernest stuffed animals. I walk back to the pharmacy and Maria hands me the Lithium. I pay for all my shit and leave. //home// "LOUIS!!!" Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, and Phoebe all scream. I hug them all. "How are you guys? I've missed you all so much!" they all say they are good. "Okay, I'm going up to my room to put some things away, okay?" they all nod, and I walk off to my bedroom. Apparently, my mum and dad aren't home. Thank God for that. I put all my stuff away and walk downstairs to visit with my sisters. I notice someone on the coach, and realize it's my father. he smirks and says "Hello faggot. Come here. I've missed beating your ass!" He says. I know not to say no and to just do what he says or the beating will be worse, so I just walk over to him. Without a warning or anything he slams me against the wall and beats the shit out of my stomach and ribs. He punches and hits until i'm bleeding and crying. "Please. Please stop. Stop." I say, sobbing. This is the worst hes ever done it. "Can't take it? Well then I hope this hurts!" He says as he stomps on my wrist. I hear a snapping noise and shriek in pain. With that, he spits in my face and walks off. I'm in so much pain. I drag myself to my room, and crawl into my bed. I feel blood dripping down my arm, but I don't care. All I can do is focus on the pain. And then I black out.