The Chair.

Her

I stand there all day long doing nothing, feeling hopeless. All day people sit on me. Sometimes trying to cut me in half, i won't lie, it hurts; it hurts so bad but im not able to do anything about it. Just stand there. Other times people just fart on me, and as funny as that sounds it's not pleasant.

But alas I'm used to this, it's not like i can move, do anything, talk to anyone. I' m just alone. Always so alone. I feel these things but can't do anything to get them out, can't cry, can't hurt, can't talk. It's belittling. As much as i can't handle it anymore i can't do anything about it.

I'm alone.. so so alone.

This is what my thoughts used to be like plaguing me with endless torture; never stopping, but then i met this one girl.

It started off simple she just sat on me, I didn't expect much everyone sits on me. I prepared myself for todays torture.. but.. it didn't come. As any normal chair would be I was confused. Why hadn't she hit me with her bag or try to break me using a mask string? Why?

I was so confused but deep down i felt a feeling that had been long since burnt out, i felt hope. Hope that someone cared for me, hope that someone knew that I had emotions, hope that someone; anyone knew i was more than just an inanimate object.

The next time she sat on me she whacked me with her bag, but before the tiny remnants of hope burnt out. She apologise. I was confused, gobsmacked even. She apologised to me? I thought.

Before i knew it i felt a surge of warmth spread through my body. This is what it felt like to be cared for. It was exhilarating.

Suddenly, a week had passed and my affection for her had only grown. Every little thing made me like her more. The way she apologised, stroked me with her ankles like she was trying to sooth my worries about the next person to come sit. She tried fixing me up a couple times too, cleaned me up sometimes as well.

The moment i believe i feel in-love with her wasn't a particularly special day but i remembered it all the same.

It was May 5th 1976, someone else in the class had carved it into my leg the same day so i knew the date. She sat down on me and saw the little carving.
"You poor baby, i'm so sorry someone did this to you." she whispered and stroked it. I knew it right then and there this girl was everything to me. I was blissfully in love with her.

I was so in love with her i never stopped to think about it she had a boyfriend, if she had a special someone. I thought she loved me, her actions made it seem like she was. At least that's what i thought.

Until one day she sat down on me and i was ready for my hour of pampering, it was the highlight of my day. But i didn't get that because as soon as she sat on me someone else was on me as well. I was confused as any chair would be.

Then i heard it. The moaning. She was having sexual relationships with another man while sitting on me.
I thought i couldn't get more heart broken but no sooner had i heard the moaning i heard;
"I love you Thomas."
"I love you too Liz"

She was in love with someone else. I felt numb. How could she do this to me. That was the day i vowed to never fall in love with some again. To make my heart as hard as rock. Ever since then i've felt numb, I miss her. Oh how i miss her. But i don't let myself feel it anymore. It's background noise to me now.

I don't mind whenever someone carves into me now, it's not as painful as when she broke my heart but if pain, different pain at least.

At least i have that, the different pain to keep me distracted from the mind numbing heart break i have to go through whenever she sits on me. I await the day she doesn't sit on me. I dread it but i also can't wait, so the heartbreak can finally go away and so maybe; my stone cold heart can loosen.