All about Ginny

3

He brings his arm down, with the lamp still in his hand. He looks angry, frustrated, and exhausted at the same time.

"W- why are you here?" He asks, lifting the lamp in my direction with a weak arm.

I almost forgot why I was here. My plan was to just find him and yell everything straight into his face. That wasn't how it went because this dude was freaking out and destroying his room. But I still want to tell him what he needs to hear whether he is going crazy or not.

"I came to find you and tell you it's because of you."

He doesn't seem to get what I'm saying. He is just standing there with red eyes, not moving a muscle.

The look in his eyes feels like I just invaded his privacy, which I did but more like invaded his mind, his deepest thoughts, frustrations, and anger.

"It's because of you Ginny ran away," I say, stepping a bit more into the middle of the room in his direction. It still doesn't look like he is processing what I try to say to him.

"The police came telling the news and asking questions about all of this. At first, I didn't know what to think but after letting it all sink in it made sense. You are the cause of all of this!" I say, raising my voice and pointing at him.

I step closer to him so my finger harshly presses his chest, pushing him back a few steps and he drops the lamp on the floor.

"It was you from the start! You made her cheat on me while we were perfect together. You were the reason all her friends turned against her. That's why she felt so bad and unwanted!" I say a bit louder.

I can feel the anger piling up inside me.

"Are you not hearing what I'm saying?! Do you not even care?!" I almost shouted.

"I know..."

"What did you say?"

"I know! I know it's my fault!" He snaps back. He steps closer to me, making me step back.

I am taken aback by his reaction. I thought he would feel bad and be sad but he is just being as frustrated and angry as I am.

"I fucked everything up!" he continues.

"I made her feel bad and unhappy! I made her feel bad!"

The more he is shouting the more I notice that he isn't mad at me. He is mad at himself. Could this be why he was so aggressive and angry when I came here?

"I know. I know. I know..." He keeps repeating the same two words and with each one, it gets quieter and quieter. Like an echo in an empty hall or cave.

I look into his eyes and see them get glossy. His eyes are filling themselves with tears.

"I am the cause of all of this!" It's the last thing he says before he sheds some tears and starts smashing his fists on my chest.

The smashes get weaker and weaker until he grabs my shirt while he continues crying. And I am just standing here not knowing what to do.

He falls a bit weak against my chest and his head falls onto my shoulder.

I have never seen him this sad and broken, vulnerable. This is a whole other side of him. Now he is not the annoying prick that is Max's brother or the guy that fucked everything up. Now he is just Marcus.

He doesn't stop sobbing and his breathing only gets heavier and faster. I feel like he is going to hyperventilate. I really can't have him do that because then what am I supposed to do?

I pushed him off him and I put my hand on his shoulders. His head and arms fall down.

"Marcus, look at me," I try to say as calmly as possible to not make him panic more than he already is.

"Look at me," I say again trying to get his attention.

He raises his head slowly until his red, puffy eyes filled with tears meet mine.

"Listen to me, okay?" I ask, keeping my eyes on his.

He nods. Almost unnoticeable, but he does.

"You are going to breathe with me, okay?"

He nods again, a bit more convincingly this time.

"Okay, in..."

"And out."

"Again, in..."

"And out."

He does it with me and it feels like he is becoming calmer. It only lasts a couple of seconds before his breathing is picking up speed again.

"My fault... I know... She needs to come back..." He starts muttering under his breath. He lets his head fall down again.

"No no no, please look at me," I say, raising his head with my hands on each side of his face.

It feels weird seeing him like this. I should be shouting at him but I just can't when he is like this. I guess this just proves that every tough person breaks at some point.

"You need to calm down, okay?"

"Breathe with me again."

"In..."

"And out."

I keep taking big slow breaths at the same time as him without saying a word. He is now finally a bit calmer again and I place my hands back on his shoulders. He is still crying a bit but the big wave has passed.

He places his head back on my shoulder and starts sobbing. My shirt is going to have tear stains on it but that is not my biggest problem at the moment.

"Sshh, it's okay, you'll be okay," I say quietly in his ear while putting my hands on his upper back.

...

I let myself fall back on my bed and close my eyes for a few minutes. I just got home from Marcus's house.

After I finally got to calm down he had almost no energy left in his body so eventually, we were both sitting on the ground with my arms wrapped around him.

We stayed like that until his sobs stopped and his body was fully relaxed. I pushed him off me a bit so that I could put my arms under his shoulders. He opened his eyes a bit by my sudden movements.

"Come on, we need to get you in your bed," I say, getting us on our feet.

He leans on me while I try to keep him up straight. We slowly walk over to the other side of the room where his bed is.

I place us next to the bed and turn him so we are face to face. I push him back a bit so he sits on the edge of the bed. He keeps his head down and weak arms next to his body.

I gently lay him down on the bed so he lays on his side. I take the duvet that was piled up on the end of the bed and pull it over him.

He is already sound asleep.

I decide to tidy his room just a little bit so it doesn't look so wrecked anymore.

I pick up a few books that are laying on the floor and put them on one of the two shelves that are still on the wall. I take the lamp off the floor and place it back on his desk and the lamps next to his bed back on the nightstands.

Before I left, I piled up the paper sheets that were scattered on the floor and put them on his desk.

I should really go and let him sleep now. His parents and sister will probably be home soon.

I still don't know what got into me to calm him down like that. I was or still am mad at him but when I saw him breaking down like that he was so different, I was so different. I had never seen him like that before.

I just couldn't shout at him because he was already shouting at himself.

I just couldn't let him freak out like that. I had to get him to calm down.

He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed and his body fully relaxed. For the few seconds I was standing there I forgot all of our differences and problems.