I will Change (Ereri/Riren)

Chapter 13: Give Me Therapy

"Eren Jeager." I heard the soft voice of the secretary call out. I lifted my head up and looked at her.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Pixis will see you now." She smiled at me.

I looked to my left at Carla.

"Well, let's not keep him waiting." She smiled at me and stood, walking into the room. I sighed and followed in suit.

"Hello." I looked at the person the voice came from. "I’m Dr. Pixis, how are you today?"

        I looked him over quickly. He wasn't old but was somewhere in his late 40's or early 50's. He had a grey mustache, but not like a pedo mustache. 

"Fine." I looked around the room now. The walls were a light beige with a few "positive" posters about recovery. Mr. Pixis sat at a wooden desk near a window with two plush chairs in front of it. It felt like a comfortable environment, which helped me be at ease a little.

"Please sit." He smiled and gestured to the seats in front of him. I took the one on the right, Carla on the left. Once we were situated he spoke again. "So Carla, you explained to me the overview of what is wrong, but if you don't mind I'd like to hear the details."

"Would you rather hear them from Eren? All I know really is what you've told me." Carla looked to me with eyes begging me to try.

"Eren, are you comfortable doing this?" Pixis was looking at me.

"Um...” I was holding myself back. "I'm not really... comfortable.... discussing this..." I said slowly.

"Well, I don't mean to push you but you must open up a little for me to be able to help you." 

"I- I don't know where to start." I breathed out. Not a total lie.

"Well, how about when things went bad?" He suggested.

I froze. Jake was when everything fell apart but I didn't want to bring him up... not yet.

"When I- when my parents died." I almost let slip I killed them.

“I see.” He folded his hands and placed them on his desk. “And how long ago was this?”

“7 months.” I said like I’d rehearsed that line.

“Carla mentioned you have various pills and bottles of alcohol. Is this true?”

“Yes.” It was flatly spoken.

“How long had that been going on?” He was speaking slow and calm, waiting for an explosion.

“18 months." Another rehearsed tone.

"So, you had been doing these things before your parents’ accident?"

I nodded. I wanted to say as little as necessary to this guy.

"Why?" He kept his hands folded but this time lifted them to rest his head while watching my reaction.

"I- I'd rather not discuss it."

"And why is that?"

"I don't trust you." I blurted out. I meant it, but I didn't mean to say it. 

"That's okay. Besides the substance abuse, is there anything else you do?" He asked me, like he knew there was more.

"Yes." I said. 

"And what is that?"

It was silent for a moment as I debated whether to tell him or not.

"Eren, you can trust me a little I promise." He pushed a little.