Truly Yours • Kim Mingyu

[thirty-six]

I freeze like a cornered deer. I'm so taken aback by his words that I can't even bring myself to breath. I'm just standing near the newel; my mind totally blank, eyes widened in shock and consternation, unable to think straight until Joshua's voice brings me back to the harrowing situation I was profoundly unprepared for and makes me blench for the second time due to it's unwonted sharpness.

"The boys are out. It's just you and me. Sit." He says and points at the empty space beside him. I sit obediently. Agitation arises inside me as he reaches for the tv remote on the wooden table embellished with exquisite carvings infront of us and turns the tv off.

He faces me, his eyes containing a kind of fierceness that makes my hair curl in fright. "You thought I wouldn't know? You thought I didn't hear his voice from outside your room when I came to call you in the morning?"

"Joshua I—"

"You thought I was so clueless that I wouldn't be able to tell if you were lying? You thought nobody would ever find out that you work for Mingyu's company? Do you think of us as fools Miyeon? Huh? Tell me."

I inch back and squeeze my eyes shut. I'm scared to even look at him, getting my shit together and voicing out words don't even have access to wifi connection to enter the chatroom.

"Sitting in silence won't do any good. Either you talk or I call your brother." He says.

My eyes immediately open wide. "No no no, don't call Jeonghan. Please!" I shriek in panic.

"Then talk. For how long have you been keeping your relationship a secret from us? Why would you even go back with him?" Folding his arms over his chest, he presses his back against the couch pillow and waits for further explanation.

"It happened last night. We were planning to tell everyone after Jeonghan had returned. We didn't think . . ." I sigh and shake my head. "We weren't thinking of keeping it secret forever. It's just . . ."

"I found out too quick?" I nod, looking nowhere but at my fidgety fingers.

"I'm sorry I lied to you. I shouldn't have done that." I mutter.

I feel angry at myself now. I wanted to explain the situation better to him, but the words are stuck at the tip of my tounge.

I'm disappointed that I fail to keep myself composed at such unexpected situations and blabber words that only make it more complicated and I have no idea on how to fix it.

I wish Mingyu was here with me now.

"Tell me this. After everything you heard from Jeonghan about him, after everything he said to you that night, how could you still decide to be with him?" He says, his voice becoming calmer. "Don't get me wrong Miyeon. It's not like I hate seeing you two back together. I know how much you love him, we all know. We know it's hard for you to suddenly erase someone as important as him from your life, and trust me, nobody wished for things to turn this way.

We know we pressure you alot about it, we know it's wrong for us to set boundaries and force you to stay inside it. You may even hate us for it, but we're only doing this because we don't want to see our friend getting hurt. It's hard for us too . . . seeing you cry because of him and not being able to do anything about it. We only want what's best for you, and right now, I don't think it's Mingyu. And working for him? That's even worse."

Staring down at my feet quietly, I try to absorb his words into my mind. The more they sink in, the more I find myself getting sentimental. What did I ever do to receive so much love and care and such amazing family?

"Joshua . . . I appreciate your concern from the bottom of my heart. But I assure you, it's not the way you're thinking. Mingyu had his reasons." Before I can say more, he cuts me off.

"Everybody goes through hardships Miyeon. That doesn't give them the right to act like the way Mingyu did." Says he.

"You won't say this after you hear his side. Just please listen to him for once. I promise you, it'll only do good. You'll know the reason why I got back with him and why you guys also need to forget the past, forgive him and reconcile your friendship. Please just, wait a bit longer. Wait until Jeonghan returns." I plead.

His stern demeanour is swapped with perplexity, as if he is questioning his own statements from the very start till now.

After a prolonged stillness, he lets out a weary sigh. "Alright." He remarks.

I contemplate for a while before asking, "How did you find out about me working at KMG Entertainment? Did Dino tell you?"

"He knows?"

"Yes, I accidentally spilled it out."

"Nobody told me anything, I found out myself last week."

"How?!"

"Every time you said you were going to work, you had this nervousness while talking — your behaviour didn't feel right. I was suspicious. So, I did some digging. I went to KMG Entertainment's official website, checked out their recent posts and that's where I saw your picture with Jae Park and another model. It was also their cover photo."

"Oh hell." I throw my head back and just when the 'f' word is this close to coming out of my mouth, I slap my own face. Luckily and instinctively.

Cursing infront of Joshua only results in getting yourself dunked into the bathroom tub filled with holy baptism water and being submerged and emerged by him in a repetitive pattern while he screams, 'May all your sins be forgiven, Ameen.'

Scary right? I know I know. I've been there myself.

"Why are you training for becoming an idol and not for joining the FBI?" I say, but he's too engrossed in his thoughts to take that into account.

"Josh?"

He hums in response.

"Are you angry?"

"I don't know. I've a mixed feeling about it."

"Are you gonna tell the others?"

"I don't know that either."

With that cryptic answer, he stands up and traipses towards his room; plunging me in the hollow of utter dumbfoundedness.

Sighing, I launch myself onto the couch and clutch my forehead.

Another person found out, means another ticking time bomb. How long will it be before everyone finds out?