Stigma

Ch 1

Kim Taehyung

Sometimes I wonder how everything started.
A sudden accident created one of the biggest impact on my life.
I was forced to fly away 2,121 km from my home. I laughed bitterly at that.

Home

It wasn't home anymore. I don't think I have the right to say that word more than I should. What is home? Was it something nostalgic? Tragic? A disgusting aftertaste on my mouth.

Taehyung ah!

Taetae

Taehyungie!

Tae!

V sshi

Taehyung!

It still haunts me. Six familiar faces, voices close yet echos through the distant of the void. I wanted to reach out to walk towards them but I felt chains bind me from moving towards them, it was impossible to walk, suffocating even.

I wanted to shout at them but mouth couldn't function as if I wasn't allowed. As if I wasn't given the right to speak out to call out for them to help me. I tried to pull the chains that bind me but It was getting tighter every time I force myself to escape.

Please!

Please!

Help me!

I don't want this!

I felt my chest tighten, restricting me to breathe, dark spots started to appear, and It was scary yet so familiar. It wasn't a new feeling. It's something I always experiences.

Nightmare after nightmare.

Wake up

Wake up!

Wake up!

I gasped coughing as I tried to regulate my breathing. My chest flared in pain, body sweats like buckets, and my mind was eerie close to breaking down. It was overwhelming.

"Calm down, Taehyung..." I muttered to myself, over, and over to myself. It took me ten minutes, to fully regain my surroundings. I sighed tiredly.

"It's dark, cold, and I'm in my bed" I started to point out where I was, even though the bed was soft, and comfortable. It was as if I was being swallowed as a whole, sweat stained the sheets, and the cold air surrounds the room.

"I'm in my apartment, it's three thirty in the morning, and I'm okay" I breathed out, staring at my opened window. It was dark but the sky was illuminated with bright stars, soft city lights, and faints noise of cars.

I stood up from my bed, wobbly, and unsteady. I walked towards the living room area, a quiet flick from the button lights. I went slowly to my kitchen grab a bottled water from my refrigerator.

"And here I thought my new sleeping pills would be more affective than the other" I slumped down from the cold floor, shivering when my bare back skin touch the counter.

"He'll probably going to scold me again, isn't he? Fuck!"

-

"Well, damn, you look shit"

I groaned, eyes squinted, huffing at the person, leaning on my door. His eyes twinkled a smug mischievous smile on his face, arms crossed. I flip him off underneath my covers, as he laughed.

"Fuck off" I throw my pillow at him, which he caught with ease, still laughing at my current state.

"What the fuck happened?" He managed to asked between his outrageous laughs, how does this person have so much energy around this time?

"The pills didn't work" I muttered tiredly, glancing at his reaction.

He walked to my bed, eyes dimmed, a small understanding passed through his face, and plopped down next to mine, dark brown eyes met mine. "Ttàihēng.."

I slowly removed the covers and dived onto him, snuggling to him close, he tighten his hold. I'm taller than him by two inches but there is something about his hugs that made me small and almost vulnerable.

It wasn't something I'm too keen to share. I'm still afraid, still wary about everything, and about everyone but he is an exception.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, one hand on my head, patting, and entangling strands of hairs. I hummed and shook my head in response. We stayed on my bed, snuggling. Lost in thoughts, and quiet humming from him. We didn't heard the faint beeping noise from my keypad door.

"Hey! What the heck guys! We have a schedule to stick! Where are you!" My manager bust through my bedroom, he was huffing, probably run. He looked over our figure and let out few curses underneath his ranting.

"Wha— Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you snuggling like that, when we're behind the schedule?! Hey! Get up, you little shits! You giving me a headaches!" We laughed at his ranting, as he continued to scold while still helping me dressed up.

Sejin hyung half way through his rant, saw my half dead state. Already know my situation which I'm really grateful about. Even if his like that none of what his saying is serious nor something that I need to be wary of.

He's been my manager since I started modeling and acting. Our relationship is practically like brothers and best friend. One of the few people I trusted. Which I'm really grateful about.

"Stop with your flirting! You little— Sometimes, I wonder. Why I still remain at this job? I should probably retire and buy my own villa!"

"So, you're admitting, you're an old geezer, hyung" I teased, he flustered tried to retort, as he started the car.

"Come on, Ttàihēng. It's bad to insult, an old man" I laughed, wheezing as Sejin hyung's face reddens. I felt his hands squeezed to mine, as he and Sejin hyung continued to bicker at one another. I lay my head onto his shoulder. A smiled on my face.

Please make this last.