⌗ !emotionally drained reader x Karl .°୭̥ 🎧🦢🛁🦨💡 923 words.
Empty.
It's so unbelievably cliche, yet so heartbreaking.
Being a bottle to your own emotions, a burden in your life yet completely unable to express just why you felt that way - or well, not so much unable, but rather... unwilling.
The morning sun had just barely crept into its afternoon rays, its comforting heat hugged my skin though I could hardly feel it. My body was overcome with chills, the cool breeze from my fan seemingly overcoming any summer warmth that inched toward my freezing body
It was a day like no other: I woke to the soft sound of his snores, fed the dog, cleaned the kitchen, etc, etc, but now... it seemed like it had all gone to waste. Seconds spilled from between my fingertips like sand in an hourglass, the clock teasingly ticking as if it knew how much I feared wasted time
My lungs felt heavy; the type of heavy that makes you wish that you were weightless. The type of heavy that begged your body to just cry, to let it all out, but I couldn't.
"y/n?"
"Mhm?"
I took a deep breath before standing from my place on the bed and meeting the boy who stood beneath the door frame. He wore a large sweater, his hair messily resting across his forehead and past his eyes
"Have you eaten today? It's almost three and your cereal is still on the counter"
His brows furrow yet that heartwarming smile never leaves his face. I almost forget what he had said as I drag my eyes away from his
"I haven't, I don't have much of an appetite"
He doesn't respond, but as I look at his face it's clear that he's upset. In all honesty, I knew that the glass was full to the brim, each passing moment threatened a flood that seemed inevitable
"Have you eaten today Karl? I can make-"
"This isn't about me y/n. Stop deflecting."
"I'm not deflecting! I'm just not hungry-"
"You say that every time y/n!"
I subconsciously flinch as he raises his voice. His fingers find their way to his hair, fingertips curling against the lonesome curls on his head as a sigh leaves his lips
"You've hardly been eating, you rarely leave the house- I just wanna know what's wrong y/n"
"Nothing is wrong Karl, I'm fine I-"
"Stop saying you're fine!"
His voice raises once again and suddenly it begins poring over the side, the cup becoming almost nonexistent as the emotions began to flood my mind. I knew that he didn't mean to reach this point, all he wanted to do was help. He didn't know how much I had been holding in, and I liked it that way. I never wanted him to worry for me
I scream at myself to stop, just like my parents had taught me. I hold back the tears, their voices spiral in my mind 'You're pathetic, so fucking dramatic'
"I'm sorry" My voice is hardly above a whisper but I knew that he heard it. He stays still for a moment, almost as if he was afraid like I was a piece of fine China
"I'm sorry...Sorry for what? What happened y/n"
He takes a step forward and like a moth to a flame I feel myself being pulled toward him, my body nearly melting in his embrace. He smelled of vanilla, like a warm candle on a winter's day, an overwhelming comfort radiates from his body
My body heaves with broken breaths and suppressed sobs, I feel myself gracing the edge of my breaking point
"Please just tell me what's wrong" His voice is laced with desperation, each syllable sadder than the last. His fingertips trace shapes against my skin, chills rise against the frozen surface
"I can't do this anymore"
My voice is hardly above a whisper, his sweater muffling the sound of his heartbeat against my cheek as I silently weep. My chest pulses as I hold back the cries that threaten to move past my lips
"Its-" He pauses, his voice was fragile as his arms seem to tighten around my shoulders. I was suffocating, my lungs filling to the brim with unspoken words "It's ok to cry, y/n"
I couldn't trust my shaky breath enough to speak, the room fills with white noise, the shrill of a fan, and his comforting breaths. He hums an unfamiliar tune though I almost can't hear him above the thumps of my heart
My face grows hot, tears flood my vision
I find myself feeling almost guilty. My heart was on a platter, my dignity as a simple garnish to the main course. The boy softly pulls away, his blue eyes to the rim with tears and hands rested upon my cheeks. His thumbs caress my skin softly, the remanence of my tears becoming smeared against the surface
He smiles, cheeks pink as he holds eye contact between us. I felt safe in his arms, warm and secure like a child to their mother
"It's okay... I'm here, I'll always be here"
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𓄳 ， THE AUTHOR SPEAKS awooga callahan tbh but also like hiii it's been so long since I've written a decent chapter lololol but I've missed you guys :D
also I need more mutuals !!!! I love all of you guys so much !!!!!
