Upon A Time (JoongNine AU)

Upon A Borrowed Time

Joong

I switched on the light above my bed and went down to put the blanket on Nine. No extra pillow. So, he just slept on his arm. His breathing was steady, calming. I used the chance to kneel near him, and watched the line on his face better, every inch, every curve, even the shadow of his eyelashes that was reflected by the light. So serene. How long will I stay here? A day, a month, years? Even I couldn't predict them. I am now, stucked in a young body, but with a matured mind. Yet, the fluctuating heartbeats that I felt, stealing a thorough look whenever he was asleep, had always been the same, whether it was in my youth, or right now.

Could I change this past? Would it change everything else? Would we both not take the damned flight, avoiding an untimely demise, and still live as we had always been, after we went our separate way? Does the chance given to me now, is just a borrowed one, to let me taste again the blissful happiness that I wished for, only within a counted time, and then...be gone? All of these questions, kept circling inside my head, giving me a little headache in the end.

"During this point of time, what am I to you, inside your heart, Nine?", I whispered quietly, caressing the hair that had fallen, hiding the widows peak that made the pixy liked face to become a heart shape. I remembered of being a little nervous whenever Nine was being bold; teasing me endlessly, at some moment, especially after my shooting went over weeks; and afterward when the missing hour was washed through, he would return back to being his sassy self.

The young me, was so easily affected by his action, and reacted emotionally, likewise. I was too innocent to define what it was, but to another's eyes, it seemed liked, I was being an unreasonably temperamental, sulking kid. Yet, after all of that, had become a memory, I realized, he affected my emotions so easily, because I wanted to be someone that he approved of, as equals, not just a child that he had to take care of.

"Nine, sorry, for misunderstanding your actions, too many times. I hated when you're nagging me to clean my mess, hated when you became irritated whenever you're tired, but still had to drive me around, hated that you scolded me liked a kid...and thus, I became sulky, a lot. I couldn't put myself into your shoe, at that time, to understand that you're actually tired too, yet still did everything for me, and even said sorry first most of the times when we fought, while I, kept being stubborn. All of that, in your own way, showed that you care and love me, just that you couldn't express them directly, right? I failed to see them, as somekind of tough love too, and so, our constant fight. I was such a headache and a baby, wasn't I?".

Nine brows furrowed and he mumbled something incoherent. I smiled. Sleep talking, his habit that I got to see again."Are you dreaming of scolding me, even in sleep?". I bent down and kissed his cheek gently, inhaling the sweet scent of his skin. He would push me away, if he knew this. Doesn't matter, I may leave, in an unexpected moment, so, let me savour as much of your kind of love, in this borrowed time.

Nine

I woke up as the door to the room was opened. In came the nurse, to take the reading of Joong's vital, before the ward round by the doctor. Joong looked alright, and smiled at me as the nurse went out.

"You sleep well...", he said as I blinked, still not fully registering, that I was covered in a blanket. So, that's why I didn't shiver even though the centralised aircond was blasting. I sat up, and wiped my sleep laden face. "Why did you cover me, instead? You're the one who needed it more. The hospital gown, is thin".

"Ah, don't worry, I could bear the cold well, grew up where it's seasonal. Ermm, Nine? Did I say some gibberish, last night?", he asked with innocent eyes. I hesitated, but nodded. Joong looked down, "Sorry, I...had a flashing vision, err, while being submerged in water, that somehow, we're involved in some kind of mishap...".

"Yeah, you said an airplane crash. Which bother me too, because you seemed to believe it's a real thing, and thought that all the time that you're here, was a soul visitation! Truthfully, I did wonder, whether you'd lost your mind, too, a bit...". Joong sudden laughter, caused me to be offended, and confused.

"Oh, God!. Maybe, I was liked those people in some articles that I read, who believed they visited heaven! Or meeting with an angel or something! Hmm, to tell you the truth, I did have a bit of a headache, maybe because the near drown, caused a shortage of oxygen flow to my brain...".

I wanted to argue, his theory was absurd, besides I could feel he wanted me to forget whatever it was that happened last night. While it happened, he seemed just alright and didn't complain about any headache, nor being delirious. But then, the specialist came in with his junior in tow, to check on Joong. To not disturb them, I greeted the doctors, and went out to freshen up a bit. I looked into the bathroom mirror and saw the shadow under my eyes. My dream last night was not good, but that might be caused by tiredness, too.

I came in, and there's only the junior doctor who was there, must be writing down whatever notes that came from the specialist. I greeted him and asked, "So, how is he? Could he be out by today, Doctor?".

"Yes. There's no sign of respiratory problem, no fever too. He just complained of a sore throat. That might be caused by too much salt water inhaled through the nose and ingested through an opened mouth, while he struggled under water. But, sometimes people might develope sudden complications, afterwards, so, better for him if there's someone around to monitor his condition, just in case". After a few more explanations, the doctor left the room.

"Your aunt is out of the country for a week, Joong. So, based on what the doctor said, you should stay with my family, for the week, alright?".

"But, can't I just stay at your dorm? You have classes to attend too, right? Easier for you to go to the varsity".

"But then, who will look after you while I am out? If something happened, nobody is there to be alerted", I said, not really understanding his refusal to stay at my family's home.

"Don't worry. We have our phones, I'll call you, immediately, should I feel uncomfortable, really...please, Nine. I don't want to worry your mother, she should take a rest for the week, not keeping an eye on me".

I sighed, but nodded. Maybe, Joong just wanted to stay alone and not be fussed over too much, as how a mother would do, when a child is sick.

The door was opened again, then the meal tray was brought in. Joong offered to share, but I shook my head. He needed to gain energy.

"Then, go to the cafeteria, and have your breakfast, Nine. I could eat on my own, and after that, will take a shower. Err, but, my shirt....", he asked, since he came here in swimming trunk, so he didn't know what to change into.

"Oh, right! Mae put a change of clothes in a tote bag separately, as she packed your bag yesterday. She left them in that side cabinet while you fell asleep a bit after dinner. I was about to message you last night, but then decided to come here when I couldn't sleep".

Joong looked at me, and then looked at his meal in a hurry, trying to busy himself to eat.

"Joong, did I say...anything wrong? If so, which part, just tell me, I didn't realize...", I went near him and tried to catch his eyes.

"Nothing, Nine. I...am just glad, to be back, for all of this. It seemed, just yesterday, I had already, lost it all..ah, go, go, your stomach is grumbling, I heard it! Later you'll fart a lot, if you're bloated. We will be stucked in the car together for two hours ride, so I don't want to be intoxicated".

"So, what? It's nature's call, you'll be sick if you keep it in", I said, as I walked away. The sound of a snort and small laughter from behind, irked me somehow. I slammed the door to close, hard.