goodbye

Note

Dear Wei Ying,

You left me too early.

I am sorry that we couldn't do all the things you wanted to do. I really wanted to do all of them with you, too. But fate separated us. Apart from each other.

I wanted to waste all of my lifetime with you. In everyone's saying, Honorable HanGuang-Jun, who can take whatever he wants, failed to make you happy. Failed to keep you alive.

I wanted to go night-hunts with you more. Eat your spicy rice mash more. Drink with you more. Touch you more. Talk to you more. On the top of them, i wanted to see you more. But i couldn't be able to.

I want to fancy you. But i can't anymore. I want to protect you. But i couldn't do. I wanted to treasure you. But i made you feel useless and left you alone.

My dear Wei Ying. I, also, don't blame you for anything. The path you followed might be bad but it was your own and only choice. I can't blame you for anything you do. You didn't do anything wrong.

Even when you were in the side which everyone named "dark and bad path", you were always doing what you promised to do. Even when you were outcast, you created your own cast and be happy in your own way with not hurting, but protecting everyone.

Be it Wens, be it other innocent people, you were always there like you promised. Like we promised. But i'm sorry i couldn't keep my promise and protect you when you were the one who's the most innocent one.

You pushed yourself too hard for a human. But you didn't fail anything. But, i'm sorry. I'm sorry that i failed you. But you meant world to me.

Dear Wei Ying, you left me too early. You left me too early. You left me too early. I really didn't want you to go. That overwhelming guilt growing in my heart is yet unbearable.

Me, everyone's admirable Hanguang-Jun, actually nothing and no one. Actually less than a mediocre.

Me nor you wanted this to happen. At least, that's what i think. What i hope.

Dear Wei Ying, did you really wanted to die? Is this why you let yourself off of the cliff that time?

I don't believe you really wanted to die. When i held your hand, you looked at me with your teary and full-of-hope eyes. Hope of getting saved. Maybe hope of getting saved by me.

I thought you were tired, back then. But maybe you were just done fighting. Or just done with fighting. Yet, tired of every single tiring thing.

I'm sorry that i couldn't save you. I'm sorry that i failed you. I'm sorry i'm a disappointment.

I'm feeling so weak. But i know i'm in the best form of myself. I feel so lonely but i have your legacy with me. Right here, by my side, like you used to be. I'm here to protect him from everything and anything. Protect him like i couldn't do to you. I have too many obstacles but i know i can fight and win with an overwhelming victory.

I'm always asking myself. Why am i like this? I don't wanna be like this. I wanna be weak like i feel. I wanna fail with everything i do like i did to you. I don't deserve anything i have now. I know if you were here you'd tell me that i do. That i deserve more than anyone else. But Second Young Master Lan failed you. Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, Lan Zhan who wanted to be yours and Lan Zhan who still do. I know that i deserve neither you or anything else belong to you.

Scold me for stealing your stuff after you are gone. Compliment about every single thing in your life like there is no tomorrow. Make fun of me for missing and wanting to see you. Because you meant world to me and now i lost my own world. I'm getting more and more drunk every night like you told me to. Come here and laugh at me for breaking my own clan's rules.

Just be here and do whatever you want. I just want you to be here with me like how we used to. I promise i'll be more nice and gentle with you. Just be by my side. I feel like i can't take it anymore.

My fingers are black and blue because of the inquiry i play every night.

It's the 16th year, my beloved one. 16th year i spent with searching for you. Please come back to me. Come at me. Come to me. Be with me. I want you here, right next to me.

Dear Wei Ying,

Forgive me.

"Sizhui, didn't i tell you not to come in Jingshi without my permission?"

Lan Wangji dropped his brush to the table he's been writing on.

"My sincerest apologies, Hanguang-Jun. But it's an emergency!"

"What's the matter?"

"Someone summoned Ghost General- Wen Ning!"

The shock which appeared in Lan Wangji's face didn't disappear until he hears wangxian in the forest.

Well... i know the media is not hd but i love the pic so much i couldn't help it :(

Hope ya likey~

Bai!