Seojun's thoughts

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Seojun woke up in the darkness of his room. It was six o’clock, much earlier than he usually woke up. He sat up and almost immediately flinched in pain. He was feeling the burn of yesterday's events, much to his dismay. He stumbled tiredly downstairs and walked into the kitchen. He sighed and looked in the refrigerator. Once he didn’t find anything he wanted he tried to shut the door, only it was stuck. So he tried again, and again, and again.

After the fourth time he was frustrated and he decided to look at what was going on. He peered at the floor and saw Kamina rubbing her head with teary eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry Kamina!” He said as he gently picked her up, bouncing her to console her. She whined and stuck her head in between his neck and shoulder. “Let me have her.” Kerchek said, looking slightly upset. Seojun quickly handed her over. “Sorry.” He said sheepishly. Kerckek sighed loudly. “Don’t worry about it, kids like to get into places where they don’t belong.” He said. “Yeah, okay.” He said. Kerchek sat down at the kitchen table and sat Kamina at her high chair. Seojun found some leftover gaeran toast that his mom had made and sat across the table from Kerchek beside Kamina.

Kerchek was a very hot and cold guy. He was his second oldest brother, but they hardly knew each other. Kerchek was from Atlanta where he lived with his mother and moved in with them shortly after his daughter was born. Some days he’s the cool older brother and other days he’s cold, distant, and angry and he doesn’t want to speak to anyone. He seemed fine today though.

“So Kerry, what do you think of Griffin Rock?” Seojun asked to fill the silence. Kerchek shrugged. “It’s alright, it’s quiet.” Kerchek said. “Did you meet anyone that you like?” He asked. “No not really, I just do my job and go. I’d rather stay at home.” Kerchek responded. “Well that’s no fun! We’re gonna be living here for a while, might as well make something of it.” Seojun suggested. Kerchek shot him a long cold look. “I am gonna make something of it. Money.” He swiftly took Kamina out of her high chair and went upstairs to his room. Seojun took a bite of his gaeran toast.

Yep, he’s cold today.

“What are you thinking about?” His sibling Vitanya sang, suddenly close to his face. Seojun jumped back in surprise and nearly dropped his food. “Tanya! You can’t sneak up on me like that!” He complained. “Oh well, but I just did.” They said smugly. Seojun shook his head and groaned at him. “You’re terrible.” He said to them. He giggled with a big grin. “I’m glad you think so!” They said. He sat down where Kerchek was and poured himself a bowl of cereal. “So, mam told me you have friends now. Way to go! I didn’t expect that from you!” They teased. “Shut up.” Seojun muttered. “She also said that you had a vision with one of them.” He said. “Ugh, she told you?” Seojun groaned. “Well…...not on purpose, I kinda had Vashti wring it out of her.” They admitted. “Of course you did.” Seojun said. “So, what was it like? How far away was it?” He asked curiously.

Seojun sighed. “It was pretty casual, we were definitely close, and it wasn’t that far away, maybe two years at least, three at most.” Seojun explained. “Ooh! Exciting!” They said, rapidly clapping their hands. “Is that enough for you?” Seojun asked. He thought for a moment and shook his head. “Mm, no. I’ve got more questions Ju-Ju.” He said. “Make it quick. I wanna go back to my room.” Seojun said. “What did you think about it?” They asked.

Seojun paused. “I- I don’t really know? I couldn’t really believe it honestly. I’m not sure how that would go. How would he feel knowing that I’m not just from another country, but a whole other galaxy instead? He’d probably hate me and call me a liar. I don’t think I would ever tell him, but if the future’s like that, that either means I’ve told him or I’m still lying. I really hate that because I don't want to get hurt, but I don't want to hurt him either." Seojun poured out.

Vitanya sipped on his Tylak juice with wide eyes and swallowed loudly. He choked and coughed for a few seconds with his hand on his chest. “Wow, um, that’s heavy. Maybe I should’ve let Vileah ask about it or something.” They said, looking regretful. “Wow, thanks Tanya.” Seojun grumbled. The first person he had told that he felt like this was an idiot who can’t handle complex emotions. “Sorry.” Vitanya said sheepishly as Seojun walked away.

Seojun flopped face down on his bed.

This is bullshit.

He felt like crying and his face was completely burning up, but nothing came out. He turned over on his back and sighed, he knew what it was time to do. He stepped into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and placed a blue compression badge on his left shoulder. He watched as it took effect and took a minute to lay down and let the side effects wear off. After that, now feeling only slightly sick to his stomach he got dressed in a light blue hoodie, dark blue jeans, light blue, socks and black and white tennis shoes. He took his hair out many twists and neatly had it floating loosely on top of his head, he put clear jewel studs in his ears and a silver ring on his right ring finger. He stretched, zipped up his hoodie and walked out of his room.

He trudged downstairs and through the kitchen through the front door. His brother Kyree stood cross legged, leaning on the counter drinking orange juice. “It’s weird seeing you like that man, you look gross.” He said with a wrinkled nose. Seojun turned towards him with a blank look. “At least I’m still taller than you.” He pointed out. “Rude!” Kyree called after him as he closed the door.

He sighed and stepped off of the porch with his hood up and his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Whenever he was upset or stressed out he’d walk around Griffin Rock to relax. The wind on his face felt similar to how it felt back home. Half the time, he’d shut his eyes and imagine the long pink Shinzhou flowers, the bright orange and gold sky with purple clouds, and being able to be completely himself.

He sighed more as he walked, the lump in his throat seemed to only get larger by the second everytime he tried to swallow it down, but he still couldn’t physically express how upset he was. He walked around town aimlessly for a while and somehow found himself at the firehouse. He stood a few feet away. It’d be nice to see Cody, but there was no way he was just gonna drop by someone else’s house unannounced. That would be rude.

He texted Cody quickly and waited silently for him to answer.

/Hey, I’m in the area. Could I come over?

After about five minutes, Cody texted him back

(Su

(*Sure.

Seojun smiled, put his phone away and walked towards the firehouse.

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