TWICE IMAGINES

Jeongyeon - Safe Haven

I'm quite busy these past few days so I couldn't update from day to day which I planned to do so, but yeah here you go. This chapter is for Twice's and Once's guardian angel. Yoo Jeongyeon!!! I really miss you Jeongyeonie please stay healthy sweetie....

Jeongyeon's POV

I'm here now in my room feeling useless, feeling like a shit. Everyone tells me that they appreciate me having them in their life, but I can't seem to be happy about it. I just feel like I'm alone, I feel like I also need some love, care, affection and just someone who'll make me feel like I'm their top priority. I.... I don't know what to feel. I don't know myself anymore. I want to be alone and I...I want to disappear.

I sighed and feel the hot tears flow endlessly in my cheeks. I'm looking at the mirror and I can clearly see how devastated I am and I just felt the sympathy for myself. I can't even bring to smile and cheer myself anymore. I just shake my head and furiously wipe my tears as it damps my face. I sighed heavily and buried my face in the bed. I closed my eyes as  my mind couldn't seem to shut down any negative thoughts that keeps coming through my head. All this hate and insecurities that I've felt ever since I started to choose the path of being an idol are now pilling up. They are like waves that keeps on hitting me and keeps on coming back and its  slowly breaking the barrier that I build to protect my inner self. I wish I won't disappoint anyone, not my members, not my family and especially not my fans. I'm trying so hard to make myself better, I hope I'm getting closer to it. I hope they won't get tired and leave me alone, I just want this pain inside me gone, I just wish for better days.

"Jeongyeon? Sweetheart? It's time for dinner let's eat now." My mother softly said against the door.

"I don't have the appetite mom." I said weakly. I heard her sigh loudly as she slowly opened the door and gently went inside my room. I feel the cushion in my bed sank and my mother ran her hand gently in my hair. I feel my emotions build up and I immediately engulf my mom in a big hug. I sobbed loudly and she just caress my back soothingly. Soon enough I calm down while Mom remove the hug while making me face to face with her with our eyes meeting.

"I'm tired Eomma... I'm so tired." I whimpered while she wipes my tears with a face full of concern.

"It's okay Jeong, Sweetheart, you're also a human you are allowed to get tired and it's okay if you're tired. Just take a rest and continue later on. I'm sure your members as well as your fans will understand your situation. Me, your Dad, your sisters, members and fans are just behind you. We'll go through this together you can lean on us anytime okay. " My mom comfortingly said. I just nodded and smiled a little, my mom really knows how to make me calm.

"Well I guess I can't convince you to eat right?" I smiled sadly and shake my head.

"It's okay my baby, in case you get hungry, I'll leave you some meal and heat it up okay?" She smiled while ruffling my hair. I just nodded and lie at my bed again.

It's already 10 pm and I keep on tossing and turning in my bed. I huffed angrily and rubbed my palm on my face furiously. I'm so desperate for sleep and it feels like my body won't cooperate with what I want. I just closed my eyes tightly and raise my body up. I just decided to walk around the park or somewhere to clear my mind. I hope it helps though. I noticed my sister still awake and she furrowed her eyebrows, curious as to why I'm dressed for outside.

"It's already late at night, you're heading out?" Seung-yeon unnie asked.

"Yes, unnie I'll just walk around and get some fresh air." I answered.

"You want me to go with you?" She offers I shake my head slowly and smiled.

"It's okay unnie, I know you have lots of things lined up for tomorrow don't worry I'll be fine." I smiled reassuringly.