Try to celebrate the present

Comfort 

Without his glasses he couldn't see the alarm clock on the bedside shelf, but the still dark sky told Ford morning wasn't in a hurry. Final exams were over, but even after that weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he was anxious. With no school to distract him and the holidays in full swing, his family entered his thoughts more than normal. His mind couldn't settle, and in an attempt to relax, he turned over and got closer to Fiddleford. They had shoved the twin beds of their dorm together to make one they could share, and on nights like this he was more grateful than usual for that decision.

Ford shifted to rub his eyes, and in doing so accidentally bumped his boyfriend. Fiddleford groaned. Ford held his breath and hoped he would go back to sleep, but he gave a few bleary blinks instead. "Stanford?"

"It's the middle of the night- go back to sleep."

"If you say so," and Fiddleford bent closer to kiss his cheek. "Stanford, are you cryin'?" Fiddleford brought a hand to Ford's face and wiped away tears he wasn't aware of.

"What- no? I just can't sleep. It's nothing."

"Aw, I'm sorry," he said. "Well, since I'm awake now too, commere," and he propped himself up on his pillow and opened his arms. Like a child, Ford couldn't help but hug his partner's waist and bury his face in his tee shirt. One of Fiddleford's hands rubbed his back, and the other stroked his hair. "Stanford, you wanna talk about it?"

"About what? Everything's fine."

Fiddleford gave him a squeeze. "Aw, come on, I know you've got somethin' on your mind."

"It's nothing, it's just late."

"Hmmm, usually takes a little more than nothin' to get someone to cry."

Ford pushed Fiddleford away and curled on his side, his back to his boyfriend. He was upset and tired, and he was not in the mood for a heart to heart. Ford had told Fiddleford next to nothing about his family in their time together. It was too complicated, too messy, and it brought up too much pain for him to want to share. It wasn't that he didn't trust his partner, but he just wanted to leave them in his past and move forward on his own.

"Stanford, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." A tentative hand found Ford's shoulder, and he didn't shift away. Fiddleford was only trying to help, after all, and Ford couldn't stay mad at him for long when he was doing his best.

"Sorry, Fidds. I just can't clear my mind. I'm fine." He rolled back to face him and burrowed deeper under the covers.

"Okay, do you wanna try and sleep, or should I stay up with you?"

Ford paused. "Will you stay with me?"

Fiddleford kissed his forehead. "Absolutely." He got closer to Ford so he could hold him again, and Ford was no longer sorry for waking him.

His visits home had become few and far between over the last couple years, and he was fine with that. He didn't want to see his father, and Shermie seemed to be a new person each time he saw him, rapidly changing from baby to toddler to boy. He did miss his mother, but he couldn't justify seeing her if it meant suffering the company of his father and struggling with the awkwardness of his baby brother.

And then there was Stan.

"What if I failed," he blurted out.

Fiddleford laughed, "awww, what makes you say that? Exams are over, silly goose. Besides, you and I both know that would never happen. I'd bet good money you're the hardest workin' student at this whole school."

"Yeah, well, the students of Backupsmore are hardly any competition."

Fiddleford nudged him. "Hey, I'm here, after all! What are you sayin'- that I'm some kinda slacker?"