ᴇʟʏsɪᴀɴ ( ᴢᴀʀʀʏ )

𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘦

(n.) the sent that lingers in the air, trail left in water, impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone's perfume.

It had become somewhat of a routine having Zayn come over after planning for the ball so that Harry could cook them both something to eat. Harry would like to say he'd seen heaps of improvement but that wasn't the case, without explicitly telling the man of his doubts there was very little he could do in terms of making sure Zayn ate. He would try and nudge him slightly to finishing what was on his plate when it looked like he had forgotten about it while talking over dinner but he could never be sure if Zayn ate anything other than what he did at his place.

He was at a crossroads, he knew he was only trying to help but it felt like a breach of confidentiality in a weird way. Like a forced patient situation. He really wishes there was a way he could introduce the subject to Zayn without offending or angering him. He needed to know if Zayn even realized what he was doing to his body.

Harry had come to a few conclusions, whatever this was had started a few weeks after Zayn had joined the sanatorium, it wasn't like he could point out the exact date but he remembered noticing how much smaller his arms had looked to when he first seen him just in passing one time. He didn't think Zayn purged the little he ate, he avoided food altogether as far as he could. Probably the most painful of all though, Harry thought Zayn knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't come to that conclusion from anything Zayn had said per say, it was more a passing look that came over his face when Harry discretely nudged him to eat. A slight panic that most people without Harry's trained eyes wouldn't notice. Zayn would always finish his plate but never ask for more and always decline when offered. He was always too full or he'd pick something up on the way home if he got hungry.

Harry almost wanted to come up with an excuse to have Zayn move in, it was ridiculous he knew. What could he possibly say that didn't either make him very angry or make Harry come off ten levels of creepy? It was worse cause somewhere deep inside he was aware that as much as he wanted Zayn around him all the time to make sure if his well being he also just liked having him around.

He had stopped denying himself, he liked spending time with Zayn and although he felt wound up real tight with worry when it came to Zayn's relationship with food he had made a lot of the noise in his head a lot quieter. He worked with people's minds for a living so he wasn't going to delude himself into thinking he didn't want Zayn around preferably all the time every single day. He didn't think much of it, he'd never felt the need to label himself any which way. He was attracted to who he was attracted to granted he usually only felt this attraction for a night so the thought that he'd like Zayn to move in was concerning and ludicrous although he had been taking the man home for dinner for weeks now, these weren't dates.

~

Zayn looked happy as him and Harry made their way out of the sanatorium and into Harry's car which was another thing Harry didn't have to ask him to do any longer. He was buzzing, discussing the ball that was getting closer and closer. His excitement was palpable and it was making Harry smile. He just kept shut and let Zayn go on and on about everything he was excited about, from meeting the "top psychologists in the game" as Zayn put it to what everyone was going to be wearing to what the ball was going to do to help further with patient care.

"We have some brilliant chefs coming in too, so even if the whole thing's a shitshow we'll have good food yeah." Harry chimed in, he wasn't hoping the ball would be a "shitshow", not at all but he just needed to see how Zayn would react to that statement. He stalled his excited rant for a second, looked out the window and said, "Of course, yeah. But there is no way this ball will turn out bad. You're the golden boy of the psych world Harry." After which he continued excitedly on with everything else that would just be perfect and Harry sighed and remained quiet the rest of the drive home.

~▪︎~

Something seemed to be bothering Harry the past few weeks, Zayn could tell from all the time he had been spending with the man recently. They got dinner together every night after planning for the ball and Zayn knew Harry Styles wasn't an overly talkative man but there was something to being not talkative and something else to being completely in your head that this was looking more and more like the latter. He hadn't thought much of it in the beginning but he'd seen Harry interact with literally anyone that wasn't him and he seemed okay; around Zayn however he seemed to be walking on eggshells and now he wants to know more and more what that is about.

Harry insisted he'd stay the night and considering it had started to get fairly late he had relented. So currently sprawled out under the cloud soft comforters in Harry's guest room he couldn't get to sleep cause the man's odd behaviour towards him was bothering him. It wasn't like Harry was cross with him, when they spoke and it had been more and more, nearly all the time recently Harry was kind but he was always looking at Zayn like was waiting for something to happen.

Hi ya'll,
Sorry for being gone so long. I had my final submissions. Now that everything is done I'm back :)
The ball is in two chapters and things will change  there massively.
I hope you're liking the story so far, sorry if the pace has been a little slow, it will pick up soon.