Horsemen

Death - Chapter 1

The bell rang, and Rin moved in sync with the rest of the children as they made their way to the dining hall. Mother Edith wasn't leading the prayer that night. Instead, it was Gabriel. It was his birthday, and as per tradition, Gabriel was thanking God for allowing him another year on earth under the blessed roof of St. Mary's Orphanage. He was crying happy tears, and Mother Edith placed her hand on his back in a motherly gesture of comfort. Fifty-four monotone voices rattled the air as they repeated Gabriel's prayer, and fifty-five hungry souls shoveled the same grey slop into their hungry mouths.

Rin Ju did not pray. His parents (as far as he remembered) had never been religious, and he liked to think that if God were out there, He wouldn't have let them die. Luckily, no one else ever focused enough on Rin to notice that he was only mouthing the words. They were empty promises that he never intended on making at all, let alone keeping.

After dinner, fifty-four tired heads rested on stone-like pillows in the hopes of getting some kind of sleep before the morning prayer and early lessons. Rin, however, sat up in bed beside the window, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

There was a light in the apothecary's shop across the street that never turned off and illuminated the entire inside of the upstairs, and it provided just enough light for Rin to be able to read for hours after everyone else had fallen asleep. As the only books provided in the orphanage were religious texts, Rin snuck out on adoption interview days to get more books from the library down the road. Sometimes he'd get caught and it was a painful 24 hours of sitting in a solitary classroom after being spanked numerous times.

The most recent book that Rin picked up was Death and Philosophy. The descriptions of dying and watching and reading about death fascinated him. It spoke of Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and how the author's own experience in dying was so similar to that of Ilych. He was enamored with the book, so much so that when one of the newest additions to the orphanage came and sat by him at the window, he did not notice until the young girl asked him softly what he was reading.

Rin jumped slightly, and the girl apologized profusely for scaring him.

"Don't worry about it, I'm just not used to others being awake at this hour," he whispered.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, her cheeks flushing red in the soft lighting from the apothecary. "I'm sorry, I'll leave now."

"You can stay if you want. Just don't let Mother Edith catch you out of bed."

"Are you sure?" She looked up at Rin with eyes that shone with a natural light of curiosity. As far as he could remember, the girl's name was Claire and she was only six. The sisters never said why anyone was there; that was information the children had to find out for themselves.

"Yeah." Rin turned so his back was to the window and Claire could see the book better. "It's not a super appropriate book for someone as little as you."

"But it's about death, right? My parents are dead. Can this book tell me why?"

This is where I'm going to butt in for just a minute. Rin would never admit it, but that was the reason he was reading the book in the first place. He just wanted answers, and that was all he had ever wanted. Ever since Claire first asked him if this stranger could tell her why her parents died, Rin had a soft spot for her. I personally would go so far as to call it love, but Rin never knew what love felt like, and could never admit to feeling it himself.

"We can see, if you'd like. I can't promise if it will provide the answers you want, though."

"That's okay," Claire said. "We can still try."

"Okay."

Rin and Claire read a few chapters of Death and Philosophy together, but it wasn't long before Claire was fast asleep in Rin's lap. He read on, telling himself that he'd just tell her about what he had read in the morning. It was a thick read even for him, let alone someone so young, and he figured that she hadn't remembered anything anyways.