Just my life I guess, nothing important.

Entry 1

I know my life is not important or anything and im being a bit selfish and seeming as if this is super bad conpared to others my problems are nothing, this is just for me to write down. Dont mind spelling errors , these will be short.

School is just such a horrible place.
Im transgender and stuff, I always try to fit in with everyone. But sometimes I feel sad and angered towards others.

They expect me to wear makeup and be "girly" not saying this is wrong its just not me and they know it! My teacher, also a female, had said how if a girl had assaulted a male it meant that the female liked the male. I must like so many people...
School is so dumb....

I never understood feelings and emotions and im just a very boring and unimportant person in this world. People say how emotionless I look and i try , i try to show any emotion besides anger and sadness but its just impossible. I always laugh along and play with the others so they don't worry for me but that mask will give away one day.

Were moving to a new school next year. I don't want any friends. My friends at the moment are fading away and my online friends are basically the only people who i go to for just some fun and to talk to more often. My parents tell me they love me everyday but they never show it and I never show it back, they just dont understand. I never feel like talking but they just want to force it out of me and always tell me to be more social and go put places, I always feel to tired and get so overwhelmed when im not at my house. My own family don't even help. I get panic attacks from being in a room with someone else most times. Being near people makes me so uncomfortable and scared especially adults.

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End of entry 1, 5/22/2021