I was once, I can be again

"I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1940; and then again, as a teenage girl, in an emergency room near California, USA, in August of 2005."

CHAPTER 1

In the beginning God created heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.. But was my life meant to turn this way?

The darkest day of the year, the day my life took a radical turn. I only remember the wipers that could no longer cope, the meticulous shards that had covered my whole aged body and a dazzling white light that covered my eyes and took me to other mysterious places. My story may sound interesting and mysterious, but before you know the past, you need to know whose past you're about to remember for the rest of your life.

I am Morrigan...actually ..I was Morrigan. The day my car crashed itself and my life, was the day no flower had awakened from the night's sleep, the birds no longer sang their contagious ballads, the river had frozen in the middle of the summer, and there was a deafening silence which enveloped the world. At 65 years old you can't expect much from life anymore, but the day you die is still too soon. I had lots of friends if you count the imaginary ones, but down deep in my heart I always felt so damn alone. Friends are all so fake. Always expecting you to be so caring meanwhile they stab you in the back. Same goes for boyfriends. Love just walked past my entire life, or I just didn't let it in but that's another story for a different time.

My life, now my story sounds boring, and it really is, but my past made me the woman(old boring woman) that I am today. Since I was a newborn I lived with my grandmother. She raised me, and there wasn't a time when I turned around and she wasn't there for me. My parents disappeared right after I was born so there isn't much to say about them. I remember Saturday morning tasting like scrambled eggs with tomatoes and red onions. It crunched deliciously in your mouth and brought a smile full of content to your lips. Whole house smelled like family breakfast from what I read in books, but grandma surely had the role of all the family members. Whole house smelled like love.

Saturday afternoons were one of my favorites, as well. They were bright and dim at the same time. The mood was set together with the dawning sun. The sounds surrounding the house all echo nature. Peace filled every minute of that day. Tranquility is almost palpable. I had to go to school and build myself a way in life, but I still got to spend enough time with her to find out everything, so that I could appreciate her more than anything. The day she went in the world of the righteous, was the day my soul left my body and so did love. She wasn't married, which was a weird thing at that time, but the things she got through by herself were probably the reason I felt more powerful by myself, but if there was a wish I could have, was a different ending...Even though I should've organised my life in a different way, I know a thing for sure.. if I was half of the woman my grandmother was, I would've been a titan. In every smile she was a queen, in her thoughts wisdom flowed, that old heart of hers was the source of so much I cherish. Some search all their days to find someone so wonderful, yet I got to grow up in her arms and learn from a master of the soul. She was not only my blessing, but she was my home...

Now, about waking up out of nowhere...The stark smell of bleach was overwhelming. I scrunch my eyes at the bright light that was sipping through my closed eyelids. I felt powerless and heavy. I could not move my hand, my head or my body. I slowly started blinking, desperately trying to open my eyes and see what's around me. Where am I? As blinding light slowly subsided I could take a look around my surroundings. I was at the hospital. The room was pristine, clean and gloomy. Typical hospital bed, IV and monitors beeping. The walls were a sickly green color and the linens were grayish. The place looked nothing like a room where a patient should be motivated to get better. If anything the murky room was making me even more nauseous. I could not remember how I got here but I knew for sure that I wanted out as soon as possible. Preferably right now. I pulled on the IV line and felt sharp pain. Seems that unplucking IV is only for eyes in the movies... I got up. While feeling dizzy from the top to the bottom, I tried to walk and get my glasses. I looked around. No doctors or nurses, there couldn't be anyone visiting me, but in a corner of the room there was this little girl. First I got scared when I saw her, but she was probably even more scared to I decided to go next to her.

'You are dead. To live again hold my hand' she said

I didn't understand a thing. How could've I been dead.. she was talking to me. I ran as fast as I could on the hallway. I went up to a doctor but he didn't hear me. I thought there was just too much noise, but the girl's words confirmed when I basically went through a person. I couldn't believe it. These things aren't real. I pinched myself once, twice to make sure I am awake...and I was. I got back in that room and I started crying. I only lived 65 years and I wasn't even able to live a life that I would be proud of. I didn't have anyone to shed a tear once they lost me.. I was alone and lost.

The girl was still there saying 'You are dead. To live again hold my hand'

At first I thought it was a stupid joke, but how could she be the only one that hearead me? I held her hand as she said and the brightest light surrounded the room. I was now flying in my head until...