Playing with Scissors

Waking up after no sleep, think shallow breathe deep

Feel the sand in my eyes as I blink, im too exhausted to cry too tired to think

What do I say on the potions and the pills?

Gagging on my finger to make myself ill

Blood creeping down my leg and trickling down my neck

Flooding in my head and drowning in sec

I keep playing with these scissors, theyre my only friends

The high soon sinks and my veins fray and bend

Denying my stomach mottled black and blue

How did I deserve this, I cant construe

Youll leave me youll break me but ill remember you

Wrapped in the voices and my daily dues

Suffocate on the shackles and chains ive made

Give me one reason to live, force my departure delayed

Dont love me, I deserve to only be betrayed

Pathetic, compulsive, disgusting ill flicker and fade

Carve me into your arm and lament

Empathys a bitch I dont need sentiment

Embrace my solitude and disdain me for life

Drink me dry of my pride, fill me up with my strife

Embed the bullet beneath my gangrene wounds

Shrapnel renders me braindead and confused

Traumatized and naked you see the scars marring my sides

Blistered and broken, internal bleeding my insides

Liver so swollen, skin so yellow

Pills and rum whisper a comforting hello

They say I look tired, they say I look sick

They say im too thin but my skulls too damn thick

Feeling so numb but id rather feel pain

So I choke and reach for my scissors again...