Masked

Entry Six

Hey, future me. Classes went on like usual for the greater part of the next month, with Danielle pestering me about Gray every chance she got in all of our shared subjects. She'd elbow me when he walked by, talked about his attractiveness whenever he walked by, and even called him over to our lunch table one day just so she could say 'hi'.

Danielle wasn't the only one pestering us to get together, though. Gray was the talk of the school, which was no surprise due to his unmirrored handsomeness. And no, I was not crushing on him or hoping for a date, I just state facts. Gray was hot, no more to it than that, and the girls at the high school had picked up on it, too.

He'd walk down the hall smiling flirtatiously and firing finger guns at whispering girls as he walked by. I'd seen him chatting it up with a few girls, blowing a kiss or two down the halls, but I didn't mind at all. It wasn't my place to care, he was a classmate, nothing more. He didn't belong to me; I didn't even like him. Gray was just Gray, and his business was his business. I did find it intriguing how he never winked or wirked at anyone but me, though.

Gray would also try to sneak up on me in the halls and would sometimes grab me by the waist, spin me around to look at me, and smile his signature smirk. He'd even leaned in and asked for a peck on the cheek once. I always pulled away though. I couldn't have a fuck-boy flirt like Gray at my heels all the time, and I wasn't too keen on hearing rumours from the gossip girls.

However, rumours always got around. Those hoes couldn't shut their faces. Even when Gray wasn't around me, the girls always whispered behind their hands and snuck glances in my direction. Some of the girls who sat at Danielle and my lunch table even walked up to me when I was alone at my locker to ask about Gray or even our supposed 'relationship.'

"Are you and Gray exclusive?" "Is he good in bed?" "Is it true he's packing that much?" "Where did you two meet?" "How long have you been together?" "Is he really from Texas?"

All the questions were ridiculous, the grapevine factory must've been working overtime. None of the questions or rumours I'd heard were even mildly accurate or reasonable, and every time I was asked if any of it was true, I'd decline the dating notion and tell them to ask him themselves. I was frequently disgusted with the way girls would swoon around Gray, begging him to bed them or take them out on a date. Maybe it was all in my head, but I could almost see Gray react sheepishly to the diligent pestering, backing up or putting distance between him and the fangirls. Occasionally, I'd even feel bad for him.

Gray would almost always catch me in the halls between classes and would update me on how his day was going. He'd usually start with "How was your classes, lovely lady? Decide to take me up on my offer yet?" as I still hadn't called his number. Maybe he was a little hurt by my refusal, but he would get over it. He knew I wasn't interested.

When he wouldn't come and find me a break, I found myself almost saddened, the quiet loneliness almost suffocating. However, I got over that feeling pretty quickly, as I'd remember that I deserved the loneliness after what I'd done. When Gray wasn't around, my scab came off much sooner than it should have, and my mask would harden to my face for the rest of the day due to the drying blood. Gray noticed the frozen mask too, as I wouldn't smile at his jokes in Socials on those days.

About halfway through October, roughly two weeks of refusing Gray's dates, we were assigned a large project in Socials. Danielle had immediately texted me 'Partners. Screw your bf, its u and me again', but I couldn't agree. I hadn't wanted to. Don't get me wrong, I love Danielle, she's my best friend, I'd never not love her. I just couldn't have her over at my house to work on the project. Aunt Jayde missed Danielle, she even missed talking with me, but I'd become trapped inside myself, hiding from the mirror. I couldn't have anyone over, no matter how close they used to be, because I couldn't let them inside and behind my mask.