Until the last petal falls

Guilt

Dear diary,
why can't I stop thinking about Aidan, we kissed, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it, we shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake that-that felt right. When I kissed him, I felt fireworks, a spark of excitement, I felt love. A love I can't stop thinking about. But as I think of the kiss, I also feel guilt. When I'm around Antonio, I think of Aidan, when I'm with Aidan, I think of Antonio. I think of my feeling towards Aidan and I feel my guilt towards Antonio. Are my feelings for Aidan real? They can't be, this feeling doesn't just pop up out of thin air, they just can't, I won't cheat on Antonio. I'll hate myself forever. He's been my friend since kindergarden, and we've dated for 3 years. I can't, I can't be in love with Aidan.
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I was walking through the castle from the library with a small stack of books. I found myself lost in hallways of the never ending red carpet. Finally when I hit a dead end, I saw a large wooden brown double door with gold swirls decorated in the corners of the door. I looked up where the door reached the ceiling, then back down to the golden door handle attached to the double door. I pressed my thumb against the metal part to open the door. Creak, creak, went the door.

I walked into the darkness that never ended. Maybe it was my slow speed that created the exaggeration of the large size of the room, but it felt really long. I tripped and landed on the ground.

I dropped the books, but I couldn't see to retrieve them, so I left the books where they lie, hoping I could find a light to pick them up.

I moved my fingers upon the ground, feeling what was under me. It was a carpet, but it was so dark, I couldn't see what the color was. I assumed that it could be the same color as the in the hallway, but I wasn't certain. I got on my knees, and swung my arms around to feel furniture or anything around me.

I felt soft silk material hanging just above the ground. As I moved my hands upward, it felt like a blanket on top of the bed. I positioned my hands on the foot of the bed, and stood up again. Still lost in the room, I swung my arms around again.

I hit my hand against what think was the wall. So I navigated my way with the wall, and I could feel each little bump from the paint. I followed the wall until I saw a little red light peering through the corner.

I traced my fingers down the side on the wall, until the red light was glowing in the center of the room. I walked closer, a little afraid, but mostly curious of what it may be.

I walked closer, and closer, but with every step, my steps grew bigger, and my speed got slower. Then when I was inches from it, I examined what it was. It seemed to be a glass case of what looked like a glowing red rose. The rose was in a little purplish tall vase that was filled with water. A petal dropped off it into a pile of non-glowing petals on the brown wooden table which the flower is on.

I was dead still, but I slowly moved my hand closer, to lift the glass, just when the door shot open. And the moment the door opened, my head flicked to the side, and I stared into the darkness. All I heard was roaring, and growling. Then I heard a faint, "Bell, Bell," then with every call of my name, it grew louder, "Bell, Bell......Bella, Abella, Abella!"
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"Abella! Abella! wake up!!" I felt hands on me, and I could see claws on them with the red light making the brown hair look more red. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!" "Ah, Jesus christ, you freaked me out. What the hell were you dreaming about?!"

I opened my eyes, and I saw my sister leaning over me, one hand on her hip, and the other over her heart, as if she had a heart attack. Her long hair curled on both her shoulders, she was wearing a pink and white laced dress, then I dug my face in my pillow, moaning in it.