That OF WHICH I Entrust to THE SUN| POP SMOKE

Prologue

“It’s cold outside.”

“Don’t worry, I’m here shorty. You wanna sit down?”

“No! I wanna go back home.”

“I don’t-I just…. If that’s what you wanna do, I’ll take you back to your crib. Come on.”

The drive back home was oddly fast, which was unusual because normally there is a lot of traffic on the street during the afternoon hours. All the vehicles and buildings on the street became a blur- it felt like I was riding in the passenger seat of a NASCAR driver. Still, my pride held me back from looking at him directly, but I could see through the window glass that he was staring intensely at me. His hands also held a firm grasp on the steering wheel, indicating he was pissed. But soon life itself will erase the memory of our encounters; my existence on Earth will become a mere shadow of life- an expendable breath of air.

My mind drifted back to my soon to be carried out plan during the entire ride. In my eyes, I’ve encountered enough pain, enough hurt, enough criticism. Though it stung to know that I had to subdue my blossoming feelings of genuineness, there was no possible way I could guarantee mutual happiness. But he doesn’t know, and I can’t tell him. I figured it would be easier to detach himself from the reality of loss if  I detached myself from my unforgivable predicament.

As he pulled up to the front of my apartment building, he parked the car and locked all the doors. At first, we both relinquished in the stillness, it seemed as though he was in deep thought, as his body was turned toward his window. But then his attention turned to the area where I was sitting.

“What are you doing? I just wanna go inside already.”

“Nah, don’t hit me with that mess. I’m waiting for you to tell me why you was acting mad weird.”

“Look…um, I’m sorry.”

“Yo, that's it? I thought we was cool enough for you not to gimme the bare minimum bro. It’s aight tho. I see what timing you on.”

Before he uttered another
word, I broke the silence with my quick-paced movements as I grabbed my bag, and headed out the car. As I got out, I was abruptly met with the dry, cold air of Houston, Texas. I took a liking to this large city, but likeable conditions were never requited during my stay.

While I was walking, I could only think: How could I be so stupid? He didn’t deserve my attitude, but I have nothing more to give to anyone other than that.

I walked up the steps that lead to the entryway of the building, and made my way to the elevator inside. Once it stopped on the 10th floor, I took my key out of my bag and unlocked the door. I was suddenly snatched up by a pair of big hands, and thrown to the hardwood floor. I was speechless, and nonetheless afraid.

“What I tell you about doing that, huh,” a voice I knew all to well questioned me.

'What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything,” I said with fear in my tone.

“Let me tell you something sweetheart- something you obviously seem to not understand. I am your EVERYTHING! I was always there for you, and you somehow got the nerve to even look at another nigga? You gone learn.”

And with that, I felt what seemed to be repeated blows to my body, but I was slightly unconscious. Whenever this happens, I always tend to drift off into a mental abyss- the only thing that distracts me from the intense physical damage I undergo.

I lost track of time and looked up, only to see the sun being overthrown by the shadow of night. I got up and looked at the awful mess present in the living room and kitchen. I decided against making any attempt in changing it’s uncleanly nature, and made my way to the bathroom. I turned the light on and was disgusted by the sight that the mirror displayed. I guess I managed to cover my face, but the rest of my body looked terrible. I then made my way to my room, and searched for the bottle of pills quietly, not wanting to disturb my so-called “parents.” I sat down on the floor in the corner of my room, near the window.

It’s all too overwhelming- I can’t take it anymore! Damn! What have I done to deserve this? I never even asked to be here.

But I didn’t get to open the bottle. I was interrupted by a large black shadow that casted itself upon the wall adjacent to where I was.

“Lenci,” the voice I’m guessing belonging to the figure said.

Before I could get up, the figure moved closer and became visibly familiar.

“What are you doing here?”, I asked.

“Nah, what happened to you? You look like you got jum-wait why you got those in your hands?”

“I don’t even know why you’re here. Can you just leave?”

“Answer my question,” he growled.

I struggled to say anything, so I just shrugged.

“Let’s go. Get your stuff, you coming with me.”

“What?”

I was gonna ask him to explain, but I froze when I heard voices and footsteps. Then, in an instant I could hear the rushing of more footsteps, yelling, and the sound of guns going off. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even know what was going on because my door was closed, but I didn’t even think to open it. In a hurry, I stood up and climbed out the window, following him down the fire escape.

I was lost, but soon I would find out.