HE LEFT ME!!

love returns

Bella

I stared at him with horrified eyes, questioning my current mental state. Was it possible that my agony and desire to see him was so strong, so powerful, that I had conjured up this miraculous hallucination? My body trembled violently as I tried to push myself up from the forest floor. I was unsuccessful and soon collapsed back onto the ground, a strangled sob echoing briefly in the rain.

"I'm going crazy," I murmured, turning about on the ground until I was lying on my back, staring up at the sky. I heard the crunching noise sounding from the fallen leaves and marveled at my imagination. My intense pain was urging my hallucination to comfort me. My mind had become so twisted in its desire to see him that I had actually begun to see him. A tired, hysterical laugh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes. I could hear his breathing, shallow and slow like mine, "It's never been this real before."

"What hasn't?" his voice was as soft and as smooth as I had remembered it. Softer, even. I let the feeling of his voice wrap around me, a small and sad smile touching my lips.

"You," the broken word escaped my lips in a tortured sob, my expression twisting in agony. I heard a sharp intake of breath, shuddering and painful, followed by a heavy crunch. It sounded like a large tree branch had dropped to the ground. I opened my eyes, the tears they prevented fell down my cheeks now. Through my tears and the rain, I found my beautiful illusion. He looked tortured.

"Bella," my name was a harsh cry on his lips as he sobbed without tears . Funny how realistic my illusion was... even this Edward had no real tears to shed. I stared at him, trying to make the illusion a happier one, but it remained broken. His fingers were twisted into his wet bronze hair, his palms resting on his forehead. Edward was in pain.

The moment that I thought his name again, I regretted it. My body was crushed by the weight of the pain and I screamed out in anguish, the scream slowly disappearing into more sobs. Maybe I was imagining it with the rest of the illusions, but I thought I heard him cry out in pain as well. I heard the leaves rustling as he crawled over to me, "Bella, my Bella."

Suddenly, I was pulled up, encased by a body as hard as rock and as cold as ice. I was shocked at the reality of my illusion. I stared up at the sky, tears streaming silently down my cheeks. I gasped in breaths of air with my open mouth, tasting his delicious scent on my tongue. It was so real. So agonizingly real. His body shook with his sobs, his voice breaking as he repeated my name again and again into my ear.

"Not real," I murmured softly as he began to rock me back and forth. Again, his breath caught and he pulled back to stare into my eyes. I found myself lost in his beautiful gaze, the same haunting melted topaz that I had gazed into years ago. His eyes were twisted with pain and regret and I soon found myself reaching up to cradle his face in my hands, "No."

"Bella, I'm here," he whispered against my palm before placing an icy kiss against it. His eyes found mine again. They were still tortured. He shouldn't be sad, I realized, even if he was just an illusion. No matter what pain found me, it couldn't be worse than Edward's pain. Again, his name sent a painful chill to my core and I shivered in his chest, whimpering. I held me closer, "Bella! Bella, I'm real."

"No," I urged, stroking his face with my fingers. I wanted to treasure every inch of him while I could. "You can't be Edward," my voice broke on his name and he flinched at the pain in my voice. "He left me. He doesn't want to come back. You're a hallucination. You'll be gone soon. Just like him..."

"No, Bella!" his voice was harsh as he pulled me closer to him. I couldn't see the fury in his eyes, but I knew him well enough to know it was there. I could feel him shaking his head, "Bella, I'm back. I came back for you and I'm not leaving. I'll never leave you again."