The Only One- Park Jimin

Chapter 5- Vulnerable

I get into their place, and I rush up to the bathroom, where I can feel my chest start to squeeze with that familiar ache. I stare at my phone silently, urging my feelings to go away. Far away.

Footsteps grow louder from the stairway, and I look up to see Jin standing in the doorway, looking sheepish. I half-hope he'd want to comfort me, but then my insecurities get the better of me and then I wish he'd never see me again like this. Tears cascade on my face, and I barely register the loud whispers of the other guys. A few minutes later, a soft hand is on my shoulder. "Hanna". Jimin says, settling down next to me. "Jin called me here. What's wrong?"

"Fuck," is all I say, wiping my face. "I wish you weren't seeing me like this." I hate myself for it.

He just looks at me. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not," I state idiotically. Then I try again. "It's just that, well, I don't know, everything just feels like it's going wrong and I can't do anything right, and I just feel so alone and I know I'm not alone but I can't shake this feeling and prom is in a few weeks and my friend said he'd never go with me I mean I know he didn't mean it but it just reminded me of seventh grade when I was told I was ugly and now I just don't feel pretty and I feel pathetic and lonely!" I started to sob.

Comforting, strong arms wrap around me. I inhale his scent, relaxing slightly. "You're not ugly," he states simply.

I don't say anything.

Jimin pulls back and looked at me, repeating sternly. "You're not."

This time I smile a little bit. "Thank you."

"And for that friend of yours, something's clearly wrong with him. Who wouldn't want to go with you?"

"I don't think he meant it in a mean way, he just doesn't want to go with me as his date. I mean I don't want to go with him either, it just, it just hurts I guess. Just reminded me of 9th grade. Then I just started spiraling." The tears won't stop.

"Hmm." He says, but then falls silent. After a moment or two he says, "Why don't I go with you?"

I pull away and stare at him. Through blurry vision and wet, clumpy eyelashes I see him nod and set his jaw. "Yeah, I'll go with you."

Jimin smiles at me, plump lips turned upward, lighting up his gorgeous face. I'm overwhelmed with emotion, happiness, relief, confusion, and something else I can't place. Suddenly I reach up and brush his soft hair, and I kiss him.

He yanks away, looking stunned and surprised. "What are you doing?"

I wipe more tears from my cheeks. "Oh god, oh god." I jump up, desperate for fresh air, somewhere different than here. It feels suffocating. I rush from the room, tears blurring my vision. "I'm sorry!"

I leave in a daze, ignoring questions from the other guys as I brush past them. I get in my car and leave, replaying the past conversation in my head over and over until I feel sick. What in the world was I thinking? I'm frustrated. Frustrated with myself, frustrated with Jimin for I don't even know what.

When I arrive at my house, I'm immensely relieved. My parents aren't home, and the couch beckons me to it. I plop down dejectedly, wiping my face for the final time until it's dry. No more tears, I tell myself. I don't allow myself to cry or even think about my worries at all. Instead I doze on and off, letting my mind go blank. At some point in the afternoon, there's a knock on my door. I freeze, worried it's Jimin. I can't face him.

"It's Jungkook," a voice outside says, as if on cue.

"And Hobi!" A peppy voice adds.

I sigh. "Come in."