Fallen to Rise

Love NEVER Felt This Way

*Awoken*

An unforgiving sunlight streamed out front the curtains, tempting me to wake up. I groaned and groped around the cold bed for Yoongi's warmth, but I couldn't find it. When I finally opened my eyes, I looked around my room to see some baby things and a few clothes thrown around here or there. I closed my eyes again and fell back onto the bed. That is when everything returned. Everyone getting captured, me being released, the court case, everyone's sentencing, Yoongi's hand leaving mine for four years, me finding out that I was pregnant, and giving birth to my beautiful baby boy. Oh yeah, one more thing, the fact that Yoongi now hated me. I told his story to the court and that got him his two extra years.

A new set of tears rushed from my eyes as I hugged my cold body. I eyed the scars lining up on my arms and cried harder. I stopped soon though, I couldn't let little SJ hear me in the other room. So I got up, took a shower, and went to go and wake him up. He was now three, almost four. That meant that Yoongi's release date was close, very close.

"Are you going to see, Yoongi?" The man I named my baby after, asked. Seokjin rubbed his tired looking face as I carried my baby to the bathroom. I answered him with a nod and he smiled. "I know Yoongi still loves you Miniko. He could never stop, especially because of the little creature in your arms." I gave him a tired smile.

"Umma, why don't I have jams?" SJ asked, looking up to me with innocent eyes. Seokjin and I burst out laughing which caused my baby to pout. He let out a little sniffle and hugged me tightly.

I smiled at him. "You do have jams, baby. Appa gave you jams, it's Jimin ajusshi who doesn't have jams. If anyone tells you you don't have jams, then tell Namjoon ajusshi."

SJ tossed his arms into the air. "But Namjoon ajusshi said it!"

Seokjin sighed and took SJ out of my arms. "Tell me then, SJ. Jinnie ajusshi will help you." He looked at me and gave me another smile. "I'll take care of him for you. You relax for awhile."

I thanked Seokjin before running into Yoongi's old studio. I sat in his seat and put on his headphones. I listened to his beautiful voice, rapping as if he had all of the time in the world. I let myself get absorbed in his voice, missing the caring tones he had in the raps he wrote about me. Now, he was cold to me, as if I was a stranger he didn't want to acknowledge. I am hurt, but thankful that he was proud and prideful of his son. SJ and Yoongi had a strong father-son relationship even though he's in prison.

I ache for Yoongi's love to protect me as it did, three years ago. I ached for his loving words and endless cuddles. His secret passions and amazing advice. I missed waking up next to him in bed to find that I couldn't get out of his arms. I long for his hot lips and passionate love making. I yearn for our sweet dates and funny movie nights.

My eyes down casted to the floor as I made my way up to the kitchen. I reached out for the hand that would always hand me something new. Instead I got a glass of cold milk Seokjin had taken out. It was half-empty. I drank the milk and sat down on the couch. I closed my eyes and almost felt strong arms wrap around my waist and soft kisses pressed gently against the side of my head. I tried to hold onto that feeling, but it was gone before I could hold on tightly.