Phat Ass Boy

1 - The Meeting (consent is sexy)

There once was a boy with a massive, phat ass. Everyone loved it.

One day, the headteacher pulled him out of class for a very special meeting. The headteacher said that there were some people who wanted to meet him. He walked into the headteachers office only to be faced with BTS themselves. The boy was an extremely big fan of the famous boyband and the headteacher had rewarded the phat assed boy with a meeting with them.

But little did the boy know, the meeting would be cut short...

Just as he was about to sit down, the chair underneath him was blown up and gunshots were fired at the windows.

It was the former headteacher Baepsae Bailey. Bts and the boy hid in the cupboard. Baepsae Bailey was very jealous of the boy who got to meet Bts, he wanted bts to himself, especially Jungkook with his purple man bun.

(Ok but jungkook purple man bun can step on us please and thanks)

Baepsae Bailey kicked down the door and screamed "Man bun oppa where are you?!" , looking around the room with his partner in crime Oily London.

Oily London was looking for his husband Jiminie Oppa (who didn't give consent of marriage and so Oily London is extremely unsexy). Baepsae Bailey and Oily London couldn't find their oppas and so went home. Bts and the phat assed boy decided they need to train themselves to fight back in case something happened again.

But in that moment Harry Styles fell out the cupboard. "Alroight lads I'm a karate masta innit" karate chopping the boys face. Namjoon and Yoongi have the British man a disgusted look before mocking his accent. They refused his offer and was about to leave but Harry pulled out a bunch of hand guns and rifles and sniper guns and said "nah fan I got loads more than karate you know" and smirked when Bts turned back around.

Harry was a man of many talents. He could karate, he was a gunsmith and could knit a bulletproof jumper for him and the boys. Jin picked up a sniper looked through the aim thingy (idk I'm not a gun expert - Ari) and pretended to shoot. But accidentally slipped and shot Harry in the pp.

"OH NO MY DICK" Harry started screaming and crying. The boys just stood there and stared as a tiny sausage like thing rolls out from Harry's trousers. Taehyung snorted and said "Haha, tiny pp". Jungkook started crying from laughter and screaming "Can't relate" (and we all know that's true 👀)

Harry backflipped out the window in embarassment, leaving his pp behind. But little did they know it was all a distraction...

Baepsae Bailey got a hold of Harry's guns and said "Everyone slut drop to the ground now!" Everyone looked up in shock and hurried to drop to the ground. Jin however misunderstood and actually started slut dropping before Jungkook clapped the back of his head. Baepsae Bailey spotted his Man Bun oppa and immediately went to grab him. But tripped over the phat assed boys ass and fell out the window. "You saved us!" the boys screamed. But they heard oily sounds from the hallway.

Jimin shuddered in horror, he had blocked the oily man on every social media and swore to himself that he'd never see him. Oily London opened he door and started singing filter (and airplane pt 2, boy with luv and idol at the same time) and puckered up his plastic lips.

(We sincerely apologise for what's coming next)

"Daddy oppa~" Oily London mewled approaching Jimin widening his lips seductively, blinking at jimin as he couldn't wink. "EW" Jimin yelled, dashing a chair at his face. Oily enjoyed it.
"Ah yes daddy oopa do it again! Harder!" Oily screamed. Jimins soulmate Taehyung just stared at the oily, plastic koreaboo in disgust and deicded to take matters into his own hands. Taehyung shouted "You're being a pain in the ass."
Oily smirked "You know what you can put in my a-"

Taehyung shot him.

But Oily London dodged it matrix style but broke his spine and died. The boys all celebrated the death of the oily plastic monster, little did they know Baepsae Bailey was still outside waiting for them so he could kidnap his precious manly Man Bun oppa.
The phat assed boy loved Bts' company and he made a mental note to thank his headteacher later *wink wonk*

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And that's chapter 1 aha don't say we didn't warn you how extremely shit it was gonna be kfbsknfks
Have an amazing day!