Hedwig Oneshots

The Babysitter

"I'm delighted, Hedwig," said General Speck, "that you've agreed to babysit my youngest. Y'know, the wife has to do the dishes and the housework, and sometimes, even she don't have time to take care of the baby." 

Hedwig was utterly exhausted. Why had she decided to become a babysitter? Oh yeah. She had no other option. Prostitution didn't always pay the bills. Not that she had mentioned that to any of her babysitting charges. That wouldn't lead to anything good. But it was alright enough. She didn't hate children as much as she let on to people. 

"Thank you, General Speck. The baby is so sweet." She cradled the Speck baby in her arms and tried not to gag when he threw up a little on her arm. But her gag reflex had left her long ago. He was getting a little energetic, so she placed him in his playpen in the living room. Suddenly, the sound of quick yet heavy footsteps sounded out. "Dad, I'm going to the park to just sit for a while and-" He noticed Hedwig. And she noticed him. 

"Thomas, you're just in time," drawled General Speck. "This is Hedwig Robinson. She's gonna be babysitting your little brother."

Tommy was in shock. Who was this living goddess, this Eve? Her plump, cherry red lips. Her sad, soulful Maybelline eyes. That short jean skirt was enough to drive him crazy. She seemed to possess all the knowledge in the world...she could be his equal. She could just possibly give him the sweet apple that he craved. To bite into the red flesh of that apple, and her...but he was getting ahead of himself. He barely knew her. But he could already feel something special.

Hedwig was in shock. Had anybody ever looked so much like David Bowie? Oh my God. How old was he? 17? Did she care? No. She wanted him, she knew it. There was something in his eyes, in his pockmarked, yet beautiful face. His dark glasses rested uncomfortably on his long nose, and dark brown curls swept over his head and behind his ears. She presumed that maybe if he took off his glasses, he WOULD look like David Bowie. 

"Hedwig, this is my oldest son, Thomas. He likes to be called Tommy, but he's Thomas to me. Thomas, say hi." He stuttered a bit. "H-hi." Good fuck. How cute. She smiled. "Hey, Tom. I'm Hedwig." She wasn't a hand shaker, but she offered hers anyway. Blushing, he shook it. All the while, they practically stared into the depths of each other's soul. "Tommy, do you mind taking off your glasses for a moment?"

"Um, I'm pretty freakin' blind without them, but...okay." And he slipped them off. Oh wow. He was the spitting image of Bowie, minus the hair and the obvious difference in pupils. Hedwig fell in love with him practically. But she didn't know anything about him. She dreamt, though. 

He could be the famous rockstar, the one she had always wanted to be. Was Tommy Speck everything Hansel Schmidt could have been? She dreamt of him singing with her at stadiums, and he could love her, because, shit, he was hot and she loved him. And maybe they would one day become one. More powerful than any god. She smiled. "You have lovely eyes, Tommy." He smiled back, so widely that he bit his own lip. How seductive could he possibly be? "So do you." He blushed. Was that a weird thing to say? But she chuckled, her low, rumbling chuckle. "I think we shall be good friends." And maybe a little more.

A/N: I don't like Tommy at all but as you've probably noticed I'm quite hyper fixated on he and Hedwig's relationship and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I love Lana Del Rey and her whole brand is singing about broken-hearted women, trailer parks, hookers, boys in rock bands, doing drugs, with the underlying sense of knowledge, wholeness, power and control that a woman has over men and it pretty much sums up their relationship. So. Lana is Hedwig. Also, I take requests, so if someone wants a specific story involving any of the characters in this movie, just ask!