Once I tried to disappear from the world.
I had no ill intent , just to see if it was possible.
Testing small theories here and there.
If I was quiet who would notice, what cause the least amount of sound when walking, what draws another humans attention towards you and when does it go away?
My first testing ground was naturally my home.
To draw the least amount of attention one must first not need to be constantly under surveillance.
Simply put if you behave well people, adults specifically, don't pay much attention to you.
If you find yourself under more watchful eyes than normal, stay by the side of one who naturally draws the attention of the whole room towards them.
The closer one is to the sun the harder one is to see.
I learned how to breath again, optimal air for the least amount of breathing.
How to walk, reach, weight, distance, shoes, bare-foot all impact how much sound you cause when your foot makes impact on the floor, and how you distribute your weight as you lift your foot can cause sound as well.
In public setting the complexities of disappearing intrigued me.
As a child when left in the care of others they become more in tune to where you are at any given time.
In this case it best to stay right by the side of someone watching you, even if you have more than one person keeping a eye on you. Eventually, after seeing you in one position for a certain amount of time they no longer check frequently if your their since you're constantly in the same spot.
I honed these skills till I could get my mother to leave me in the car.
I could leave social events for a time without most people noticing.
I could be home, and no one would notice I was there even as I sat in their presence.
Being alone, while being surrounded, is a disturbing feeling.
So, I stopped trying to disappear.
I lost touch with myself so that other could feel me again.
Being seen, is also, a disturbing feeling.
I don't know which I prefer.
