Haunting

Chapter 6

        Dev is sprawled on his bed, arms tucked behind his head as he listens to his favorite playlist. School was cancelled today due to the snow.

        I miss snow. I miss having snowball fights with Dev until our fingers were numb. I miss drinking his special peppermint hot chocolates and snuggling under thick blankets while we had a movie marathon.

        I linger near the side of the bed, desperately wanting to reach out and touch him. My resolve has been crumbling the past couple weeks. The proof is in the way my hand lifts without me being aware, the way I don't jerk back the moment I notice. I want this. I need it.

        His phones buzzes and he rolls over out of my reach. I sigh but move in closer to read the message.

        Bored yet? I know I am.

        Yeah. Ben is on babysitting duty and Trent can't ever leave his place when the weather gets like this. The roads out there are always worse than they are here in town.

        Glad I'm not him. My mom is at work so I'm stuck here alone.

        I see Dev hesitate, see his fingers twitch to type a reply. Then he nods and glances down at the screen.

        Wanna hang out here?

        The wait for a reply takes its toll on both of us. I can see in his eyes part of him isn't sure it's the best idea. But the rest of him acknowledges it's better than sitting alone with only his thoughts. I want to tell him I understand.

        Sure!

        He texts her his address then flops back on the bed, staring at he ceiling. Only a few seconds pass but by the way he's fidgeting I can tell they probably feel like hours to him. Finally he stands, passes a hand through his blond hair, then begins to collect the empty bottles and cans scattered around the apartment.

        He's just tossing the last ones in the recycle bin when the knock sounds. He draws in  breath and nods as if to reaffirm his decision to do this. When he opens the door, we both pause.

        Cassidy looks really cute today. Her dark brown hair is woven into a tight braid and draped over her left shoulder. Her light grey sweater has an abstract design of a face being formed from dozens of butterflies in flight. Around her neck is a simple black cord necklace with a silver flying bird dangling from it.

        "Hey," she says with a shy smile and a small wave.

        "Hey." Dev steps back to let her inside and I quickly float to the other side of the room to avoid being touched by either of them. "The roads weren't too bad, were they?"

        "Nope." Her bright eyes flick around the room, seeming to take in every detail. Her eyes linger on certain details and I can't help but think about what makes each unique. There's the cream colored couch that will likely forever have the stain from the time my strawberry soda volcanoed. On the entertainment center there's the porcelain wolf figure I got Dev as a homewarming present. One of its ears broke off on the trip over here. I remember how upset I was. Dev didn't say anything, just dug through a box until he found a tube of super glue. The small end table Dev and I painted together.

        "Want something to drink?" Dev asks.

        "Sure." Cassidy follows him into the kitchen, paying this room as much attention as she paid the living room. "You've got a nice place," she tells him as she takes the soda can from him.

        "Thanks, it's..." He trails off and I wonder how he wants to end that sentence. It's not the same anymore? It's all he's got? Instead he shrugs and says, "It's home."

        I feel the hollowness of that statement and, to her credit, so does Cassidy. She's incredibly observant. I like that.

        "Uh, make yourself at home, I guess." I understand why Dev is so uncomfortable. This is the first time he's had a girl, or anyone for that matter, over since I... Not even Ben or Trent have been over. I think they're both worried if enough time has passed. The four of us spent quite a bit of time here, sprawled around the living room playing video games or watching movies. I hope that changes after today. I miss seeing the guys around more often.

        "Actually, can I use your bathroom?"

        He nods, leading her down the hall to his room and the only bathroom. When she closes the door behind her, he retreats back to the kitchen and leans his arms on the counter.

        A few minutes later we hear the door open again and then she's asking, "Is that Averi in the picture?"

        Dev turns. Cassidy is standing at the entrance to the hall. She seems to pick up on his hesitation. "I wasn't snooping, I promise. I just noticed the photo."

        He nods slowly. "Yeah," he replies and his voice sounds thick.

        "She was beautiful," Cassidy says softly.

        He nods again then visibly shakes himself. "So, do you want to watch a movie or something?"

        She seems as relieved for the subject change as he is. The look in her eyes isn't pity, though. It's understanding. "A movie sounds great."

        I linger in the far corner of the room as they kneel by the small movie cabinet and try to decide what to watch. And it's strange because for the first time it really, truly strikes me that I will never be able to be part of Dev's life again.