T a l e o f t e a r s

O n e

L A T I B U L E

(n.) A hiding place; a place of safety and comfort.

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The dreamer knew that the dream was too good to be true. It felt so real, as if it was happening right before them. But the truth is, its actually a forgotten memory. If anything, dreamer felt so happy to relive it. Because in some way or another, dreams are also an escape from reality and that too by making all impossible scenerios that can never happen or something that had already happened. When memories are transmitted as a dream, its actually a blessing for us to enjoy the moment again.

The risen sun had shone softly on the city streets. The roses, jasmines, lavenders and many other flower's fragrance have filled the whole environment making the morning pleasant. It was still very early in the morning and all toddlers were suppose to be asleep but yet they had insisted, cried, and stubbornly demanded their father to take them too for his morning run. Later, what the dreamer see is that the father of the kids had his hands tightly clasped with little fingers and was doing his morning jog very slow. In the middle of his run he had to take one of them in his arms and catch the other one who had sped off.

Suddenly the dreamer's name was being called out by a chirpy sound. The dreamer and the toddler whom was actually the dreamer in the memory also turned their heads to the swings, where the other sibling sat with her brown hair tightly pinned into a head bun and wearing a pink sweater paired with pink leggings and pink shoes. The dreamer laughs, remembering how much the dreamer was embarrassed and grossed out with all the pink stuff and after a long time had become used to it.

"Do you love me ?" She was asking the toddler, her sibling.

"Nope you're fat"

Her giggles filled the dreamer's mind, heart and soul. The dreamer wanted to tell the toddler to shut their mouth and tell her how much the dreamer loved her instead. Stuck in a place and the dreamer couldn't move. Wanted to touch her and wanted so badly to hug her but all dreamer could do was watch, just watch from afar. The three year old girl quickly jumped from her seat before the swing came to a complete rest which made her knee bump on the stoned floor.

"Yusra !" The toddler quickly rushed to her side, their face etched with worry and was about to cry even though it was she who got hurt.

"So you do love me, huh ?" Yusra had asked with a sly smile stretched on her lips.

And then, she was leaving, her hands loosening from the tight grip toddler had. Gone where the good old memory and suddenly the scenery shifted to a dark room where grown up Yusra laid unconscious on a bed. The dreamer entered the room shouting her name but never get to reach by her side, the more dreamer ran, the more Yusra became far and far away. The room got darker and darker until there was nothing left to see. The dreamer stood there with heavy breathing in the dark soulless room. All the while hearing her voice say,

"You have to move on, you have to let me go"

Yousuf Khalid snapped open his eyes and jerk himself awake on his bed. Covered in cold sweat, his heart pounding and rapid breathing he tried so hard to follow the youtube video where you hold your breath for 7 seconds, then breathe out through your mouth to the count of eight. After calming himself Yousuf got up from his bed slowly. His long pale hands softly pulled away the curtains which led moonlight spill into his dimly lit room.

He was far away from his home, and this place was his hide out where he can forget about his worries, his pain and his memories. Yousuf knew he was running away from his demons by staying here because it was too much to bear when he's in Yasrid. If want he would've stayed here a little longer than a year but he knows how much his family misses him and same was with him. Thats why it takes so many months for Yousuf to go back home, he just doesn't want to leave.

He brushed away his soft dark brown hair aside and stared at the view infront of him. His apartment was on the sixty third floor so literally every thing felt small for him and he could even see the whole of city. But standing there, all this beauty felt nothing for him. Because all he could hear was the dreading silence in his room and if anything, he hated it, he hated silence because silence kept reminding him how lonely he was.

For Yousuf being lonely comes in different depths. The saddest part is when he's feeling real down and look around to realize that there's no one, no one who could lend him a shoulder. He craved for someone to fill his dark, pitiful and silent life with sunshine and happiness. But he knows, how much cold hearted he is to let someone in, to let someone break his walls that he had build around his heart. He doesn't want to be a burden to that someone, he doesn't want them to get hurt because of him so all he can do is never hope for that someone. And yet, even now when he thinks of that someone, its always her face that comes to his mind. He sighed, her name leaving his mouth, almost like a wish, a prayer or like a never happening dream.

Mariyam