Matigan- a girl with powerful words

me, myself, the outcast.

Words are all that anyone really has in this world. No matter what, we all have words. Most of us have words anyway. Sadly, I happen to be one of those without them… I am 16 years old and i have never uttered a single word. Why you may ask? I'm deaf. So I've talked once or twice… but never more. I can't hear my own voice so why should anyone else have to hear it.  I'm uncomfortable with being around people, I always get stared at. My parents wanted me to be in a regular school which consisted of a middle aged woman named Marge follow me around and interpret my words to other people. She has to sign to me whatever anyone says to me, and let me tell you when someone is signing math, it is very hard to learn. The only time I've ever been able to express my words without the help of Marge, it's been through writing. I don't have many friends so I haven't been able to show many people the works I've done… but it's okay. I'd rather read my words over and over again than have my classmates laugh at Marge as she speaks through my papers for me. All of the kids in my grade think I'm a joke. They treat me like I can't hear OR see them, which I can. They all stare at me while I'm walking through the halls with Marge hot on my tail. The one class Marge doesn't join me in is lunch. Lunch is where I'm free from everyone. We have the option to go outside or stay inside, and of course I go outside. All I do is write. Obviously my favorite class is literature, for reasons I'm sure you can understand. I feel free when I write. It's like an escape from my own mind. I don't think I just do. The best part about writing, is that you're free to write whatever you please. No one can dictate what you think or how you feel. You can make an alternate world for yourself. A world many others around you can't fathom. Writing can change your outlook on anything. Life, love, anything. I prefer writing to reading because in reading, you're forced to listen to someone else's views. If their views are against yours, it can make reading a drag. Often people ask me if I want to be a writer when I grow up. I always tell them no. I don't want someone to be forced to hear my views and interpret them as their own. To each his own. I live by that saying. It makes me realize there's always an explanation for everything. Mostly the behavior of people. From birth our parents put thoughts and points of views in our heads, reflecting our future behavior based on what we were taught by our parents. That's why some people are against gays, or atheists. It's all based on their point of view. If the whole world had the same point of view, everyone would be equal. A world where everyone is equal may sound impeccable, but truly, it doesn't to me. Everyone would be treated the same no matter their looks or attitudes. Child molesters would sit down next to Queen Elizabeth and receive the same amount of admiration. It doesn't seem right to me. The world was made for a reason, some people can't except that and try to change it. Why do you think there have been so many bloody battles. Two opposing sides don't agree, feel the need to battle to prove that one side is superior, and drag the rest of the world into it. Personally I view things differently than other people. I can pick things out that some people can't. I can see the way people look at me and treat me like I'm some kind of freak just because I don't have one trait that most humans have in common. I'm considered different. I'm given the same opportunities, I go to the same schools, I live in the same type of house, but yet I still constantly feel like the outcast in my own community. It sucks being the outcast.