That's the most vaguest thing to start a letter with, isn't it? If you were here you'd probably throw your arms around my shoulders while mocking me for this.
Rin told me to visit you. He didn't specify where, he just said for me to visit you. I ignored the look of desperation in his eyes and ultimately walked away. I apologize for that. Yes, I was upset, but that gave me no right to deliberately be a total asshole.
The day you passed my mother gave me your letter. I read it multiple times, I couldn't believe that you were actually gone. At first, I felt nothing, I'll admit to that. What was I supposed to feel? Grief? Sadness? I don't know, but it took a while for everything to hit. It wasn't till the day of your funeral when it all hit. I just couldn't show my face in front of your family, not after ignoring you for a year on end while you slowly died without me having a single clue about the situation. If you would have told me, I would've come down to Japan as soon as I possibly could, though I do understand that it must've been hard for you.
I guess this letter will make up for all the times I didn't respond to you. I don't know if it'll be enough, but I'll try my best.
Recently I was at the JFA for an interview and overheard a conference where they were talking about this Blue Lock project you were telling me about. Intrigued, I decided to listen in, now I will be judging these strikers myself to see who can be the best. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but I guess it'll be a new change of perspective.
I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry. I stopped responding as you and Rin got closer because I feared rejection. I did like you, I still do, and I know I'm not one to say anything of the sort but it's just for you so I'm fine with it.
At the moment I'm standing at your grave, paying the respects I should have done at your funeral. I'm currently finishing up this letter to leave at the base of the stone with your name engraved on it. I also added some of your favorite foods.
Again, I'm sorry.
Love, Itoshi Sae
-
As the male set the colorless envelope with the words "[L/N] [Y/N]" written on it down onto the gray marbled platform, he let out a sigh. He felt so saddened yet shed no tears. Standing up, he turned around to take his leave, walking past the rows of gravestones that were set in his field of vision.
He eventually found himself at the soccer field where he and his younger brother would often practice, bringing her along with them. Everything looked the same as it did 4 years ago, except for the dark spots of coffee brown dirt that slowly spread its way through the grass.
The prodigy sat down on the bleachers. He ran his thin, scrawny fingers through his mahogany hair. A crisp breeze traced the outline of his jaw, the setting sun highlighting his porcelain face and emerald irises. He stared out into the horizon, watching as the sky mixed from a gorgeous baby blue into bright oranges and pinks, emitting a glow that painted the clouds with it.
Guilt.
She said not to feel guilty. But how could he not when he didn't respond to the numerous amounts of letters that piled up at the foot of his bed? How could he not when he didn't even get to say goodbye to the person whom he cherished the most?
A tinge of sadness lingered in his throat, the words he wished he could say stung the tip of his tongue and dizzied his mind. His vision blurred as he tucked his face into his hands in an attempt to regain his composure.
He should have said goodbye.
But what if goodbye isn't enough?
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
trying to feed the fandom LOLOL
anyway, i hope you enjoyed scintilla! sorry it's angst. this idea has been given to me a long time ago and i procrastinated on writing it - but we don't talk about that
