Finding Clarity

Chapter 2

"Clarity its for you", my teacher says holding out the phone for me.

I don't know who would be calling for me at this moment. My moms at work and my sisters in college right now. I guess I didn't get up yet, because Mr.Stevenson calls my name again and everyone's staring at me, everyone but Elliot.

I get up and answer the phone."Hello, who is--" I'm cut off by my moms shaky voice. She sounds like she's been crying. My mom rarely crys the only time I saw her cry was at her fathers funeral. I was shocked that she was crying. I heard the last word she said then asked "What did you say?".

"Get home now Clarity", she cries into the phone. Then she hung up the phone. I stood there dazed trying to think why she could have been crying. The only explanation had to be because someone died. That's the only time my mother cries.

I drop the phone sending it crashing to the floor I don't hear what Mr.Stevenson says. I don't hear anything.

  I grab my bag and run towards the door. The next thing I know I'm outside the school running to my house. I don't live far I usually walk to school and back, but right now it feels like forever till I reach the front door of my house. I hesitate to open the door. So I don't, I just drop to the ground, out of breath trying to sort through what I'm about to face. I tell myself whatever it is, I will not cry.

I don't want to go inside and hear what my mom has to say. I just sit on my front steps thinking of all the possible reasons my mom is crying.

  The last time I got a call from my mother crying was when she told me the news about my friend. I had walked through my front door to see my best friends parents crying on my couch. When they told me that my friend committed suicide I knew I didn't hear them wrong. I just ran out of my house to Allie's house, hoping she would be sitting in her room listening to her rock music. When I got to her window it was open, just like she always kept it for me. There was a note on her bed with my name on it. That's when I knew she was gone. Dead. That night she had called me over and over again but I never answered because I was still mad at her. Now, I wish I had picked up the phone. I always picked up the phone when it was her. I would stay up all night talking her out of suicide. But that night I hadn't picked up she killed herself. And it was all my fault. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I did nothing. I grabbed the note and put it in my pocket. I didn't read it. I still haven't today.

After her funeral me and my mom moved to California. I couldn't stand being in Colorado where my best friend took her life , so we moved. My older sister, Shay, went to college and our mom finally divorced my over controlling father.

I still don't go inside my house. I don't want to find out bad news that will make me decide to move again.

When I finally get the nerve to go inside,my best friend and well only friend Simon pulls up in my drive way. He comes rushing towards me crushing me in his muscular arms to his chest. I don't pull away like I usually do when he trys to comfort me, I just collapse in his arms. He tightens his arms around me to hold me up.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," he says,"I'm sorry he's gone."

"Who's gone?" I ask confused.

"Wait, have you gone inside?" He asks raising his eyebrow.

I look down and tell him no. "Tell me. Who died?" I ask.

"I think you should go inside and have your mom tell you." He says, worry clear on his face.

That's when I realize that my mom told him first before she even told me. What the hell?

"Why did she tell you first?" I snap at him.

"She called me after she couldn't reach your phone." He says hoping I will calm down.

"Who died?" I ask again angrily. He looks at me knowing he shouldn't tell me, but knows better than to not tell me.

"Your father." He says, not looking me in the eyes.