Sebastian summer in England

Part 9

The last two months  have been amazing. Me and Seb have had a great time. i have spent most nights in his room. I think most people around have guessed some think is going on as we always finding an excuse to touch each other or always looking at each other. Molly has still not got the hint but it has become a running joke watching her attempts to flirt and being knocked down every time. 

Tonight Seb and mackie are busy doing screen tests so me and the girls are doing karaoke in the pub next door. I've already had a few drinks so i agree to singing. I personally think my voice is very average but the girls love me going up and say i am amazing i dont see it but after a few drinks and shots i stop caring and go for it.

Chloe; '' y/n have you seen who is over there.'' I turned to look in the corner and yep like the pieces of shit they are my ex husband and chloes ex too ( there best friends by the way )

''Well some just had to let the shit in. Dont look at them Chloe we are better off with out them and looks like there with the newer models so they will behave. Lets just show them them what they lost''

Chloe '' ok yeah you right we dont give a shit they dont give a shit its all good we all grown ups fuck it''

After about Half an hour Paul our resident DJ shouts Adam to come up to sing. Adam is 25. he is a great singer and dose the odd shift behind the bar when he needs extra cash. He gets up to the mic and says '' this song i need a little help so y/n please join me''

'' Oh Shit'' he dose this every time i never know what the song is till it starts. Chloe pushes me out of my chair and off to the stage i walk. '' I hate you, you know that'' Adam just laughs '' You love it really'' 

The song starts up and i recognize it straight away Shallow by Bradley Cooper and Lady GaGa. I love this song but its so hard to sing and i am usually much more drunk when i sing it. Just as adam about to sing the opening line i notice Seb and Mackie walk in '' Oh shit''. They both take a seat with our group smiling up to me Seb leans over to whisper to Chloe.

Seb'' I did'nt know y/n could sing'' Chloe '' oh your in for a treat she is amazing'' Seb '' really'' Chloe '' Yep but she will tell you she is shit but she is really good''

Mackie then shouts '' Y/n you go girl show us what you got'' I notice my ex husband suddenly takes notice of the two guys that have joined my group. Theres no bad blood between us anymore but i think he always thought i would never really move on from him. how fucking wrong is he.

Its my turn to sing

Tell me something, boy

Arent you tired tryin' to fill that void

Or do you need more

Ain't it hard keepin so hardcore

I turn to look at Seb and sing

i'm falling

in all the good time i find myself longing for change

and in the bad times i fear myself

I take a deep breath as this is he powerful bit of the song. I dont know why but i am still looking straight into Sebs eyes.

I'm off the deep end, Watch as i dive in

I'll never meet the ground

Crash through the surface, Where they can't hurt us

I'm in the shallow now

Seb '' Wow'' Chloe '' told you so''

i Turn to the rest of the room and sing the rest of the song with Adam. Why did i sing that bit to Seb. Oh you know why y/n you just got to admit it to yourself you ave fallen for him. I finish the song and look back at Seb. His eyes are shining with admiration and oh shit is that love. Nope theirs no way he could feel like. Stop kidding yourself. As you walk back to your table you are muttering under your breath '' just a fling just a fling just a fling''

I get to the table. Seb stands up. i think he is going to offer me his chair but instead once i got close enough he puts his hand at the back of my head and pulls me in for a kiss. But not just any kiss he made me forget i was in a room full of people. His other hand grabs my hip and pulls me close.I tilt my head to the side to give him better access. seb dueling with my tongue. I moan as he bites my bottom lip as he breaks the kiss off. he leans his head against mine and says ''  Hi'

I giggle and reply ''Hi''

We both turn to look at the people on our table who all suddenly burst out laughing. 

Julie'' finally dose this mean you two will stop trying to sneak around now as if none of knew you two have been doing the dirty this whole time''

Molly'' What you two. Aww that explains a few things''

Mackie'' and molly is finally back in the room''

Seb'' Shut up i knew you all knew about us we was just not shouting it out to everyone''

'' Well they all definitely  know now'' i say

Seb'' and do you care'' he looks at me nervously. I lean in and kiss him again 

As everyone starts talking i start thinking. When my husband left me it didn't hurt we both knew it was over being honest it had been dead for years. I cried yes but more because i did not know what happened next. i did not expect to meet someone like seb. I really did think i could do this thing keep it simple. but now i know i am falling for him and when this ends i dont think i am going to be able to handle the pain. Now i am stuck do i tell him how i feel or pretend all is ok and hope i can but the pieces back together again once he is gone. No i need to cool it off now. We have had are little bit of fun our fling as Seb calls it. i need to end it now before i do something stupid like tell Sebastian Stan the man who could never love me like i need the man who lives a completely different life to me that i am falling completely and madly in love with him. i need to end it before i start to fool myself to thinking he feels the same.

'' y/n ...y/n.... Y/N'' i turn and look at Seb as his voice breaks me out of my thoughts '' y/n are you ok

'' yeah sorry just sort of spaced out there '' i laugh

Seb'' Are you coming to my room tonight''

'' not tonight i got an early shift tomorrow and already going to be rough as it is'' Disappointment crosses Sebs face. And then understanding like he knew just what i was feeling. ''ok'' he replied '' our shooting scheduled pretty heavy next couple weeks but i will be back in my room every night text you tomorrow''

''ok Seb''  i say as i walk off. Distance this is good just a fling i keep saying over and over again. My head says end it now before its too late. but my heart tells me it already to late. i gets in to bed and cry. Why me, The one man i want is the one that dose not feel the same and one i can never call mine.