Obama knew that this day was coming. The weather network called for a large snowstorm for weeks, yet he was somehow caught off-guard. He was staying at his friend's house for the time being, and had lost complete track of the time. His friend, Nikolai Gogol, lived in Florida. He frequently made headlines for news articles entitled "Florida man...", and gained quite a reputation for it. Obama however, lived in Washington DC. Because of the abrupt snowstorm, Obama would be stuck in Florida for the next few days, at the very least. He knew this would be quite a problem, because Nikolai had a boyfriend. Sigma.
Obama has always been jealous of Sigma. Though he only thought of Nikolai as a friend, he wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. He frequently imagined himself giving the sloppy-sloppy-toppy-toppy to him, but that was probably just a weird intrusive thought. Obama knew for a fact, he was straight.
"OBAMA-CHAN!"
Obama heard the shorter male call out.
Though Obama was only an inch taller than him, he always poked fun at the other for being shorter than the time it takes him to cum- I mean shorter than uh (insert short thing)
"OBAMA. STOP MAKING ME WAIT YOU BOZO AND COME WATCH SHREK WITH ME AGAIN."
"S-s-s-sorry Nikolai-kun"
Obama felt himself blush, as he was the only one who would watch Shrek with him while his boyfriend was away. Not that his boyfriend cared anyway, Obama overheard that Sigma hates Shrek.
"DID YOU REMEMBER THE POPCORN?!?!!? IT BETTER BE THE EXTRA SALTY MICROWAVE ONE OR ELSE I WILL LITERALLY MURDER YOU."
"Y-y-y-y-yes n-n-n-n-n-Nikolai k-k-k-k-kun!"
Obama was never really good with conversations. He always found himself stuttering and blushing whenever he talked to his friend, not for any particular reason. As he picked up the bowl of extra-salted popcorn, he started towards the couch where Nikolai was sitting.
"N-n-n-n-n-Nikolai-kun, y-y-y-you k-k-know t-that if you i-i-injest this much salt y-y-youre going t-to get sodium p-p-poisoning and e-e-end up more anemic and iron deficient than Fyodor."
"SHUSH THE MOVIES STARTING."
Nikolai yanked the bowl of popcorn from Obama's hands, causing it to spill all over himself.
"MMGNNGNHNNGNHNNUKHJHNHJNUMUN"
Oh no. This can not be happening. Obama knew that the number one rule of being Nikolai's friend was to never under any circumstances spill his extra salted popcorn while watching Shrek.
All of a sudden, the both of them went very quiet.
Nikolai had a blank, empty, despair-inducing look on his face. This can't be good. As he began to stand up, Obama felt his face grow redder, and a small pit began to open up in his chest. At that moment, Obama realized, he was going to die.
However, his feet were stiff on the ground, and sheer terror made it impossible to move.
"you. spilled. my. fucking. popcorn."
Obama thought to himself that there was no way possible that he'd make it out alive. He wouldn't be able to escape if he'd wantedto, because of the raging snowstorm that awaited outside.
"how. dare. you. spill. my. popcorn. while. we. were. about. to. watch. shrek."
Obama felt his legs twitch. He didn't know how frightening this man could truly be. All of a sudden, Obama felt a dark presence rise from behind him. He didn't want to turn around, he felt as if he'd die if he looked away from Nikolai for even a split second.
"Are you seriously forcing Obama to watch your fucking Shrek movies? I'm sure he doesn't give a shit about princess Fiona. Sit back down, for the fucking hundredth time the popcorn isn't a big deal."
Obama had never heard this voice before. However, Nikolai's face immediately changed into a bright, happy smile as he noticed the new man.
"Sorry, you must be Obama?"
"Y-y-y-y-yeah. W-w-w-who are y-y-you?"
"I'm Sigma. Nice to meet you."
So, this was Sigma. This man was fairly short, and had a really bad haircut. Obama felt as if he'd throw up just looking at it. Also, Sigma?!??!
