With Every Step

15. Desperation

Doujima was outstanding. It was still in the process of being reconstructed, but Amon could already imagine how it would be once complete.

And it was all due to Akira.

Dr. Chigyou's words blindsided him. Had Akira really spent her weekends in the lab just to work on his quinque, when there was so much else she could be doing?

Even when he left the lab, he was stunned by that. One night out drinking had changed their relationship entirely, and though he regretted being the cause of her pain, their current friendship was something he held dear.

"What do you think? Maybe I should have cut down on the features..."

Though Akira appeared calm, he noted an underlying nervousness. She was extremely good at hiding her emotions, but he was coming to understand how to read her.

When he asked her to go to the graveyard with him, it had been on a whim—a desire to spend more time with her. Even in such a dreary place... he wanted to be with her. After all, nobody could guarantee what would happen tomorrow. This might be their last time standing together.

Amon wasn't a pessimist, but he understood the realities of an all-out war against ghouls. Life and death could not be guaranteed in such situations.

At the graveyard, Akira revealed the reason for her grudge against the One-Eyed Owl, a ghoul even Arima could only stall at best, and all Amon could think about was stopping her from chasing after revenge. He knew she was capable of deciding for herself and his input was unnecessary, but—

"Please don't be reckless."

Had Akira taken it as a challenge? A lack of faith in her abilities? Because he trusted her with his own life if needed, but he also wanted her to be safe.

"I'm not Doujima's owner. Don't look at me like that."

He had no time for surprise as she strode over to him and tugged him down by his tie. Eye-to-eye with Akira, his breathes quickened, and he wasn't sure if it was only due to the tie choking him.

The light in her eyes, the determination on her face... she had never looked more beautiful to him than in that second.

And then she leaned forward. Without even thinking, he pressed a hand to her mouth and stopped her. The warmth of her soft lips against his skin sent a shiver up his spine, sorely tempting him to put down the barrier.

But that was selfish. She had already lost so much and after all the times he had failed her, he couldn't allow this to be another moment like that. She was forlorn and hurting and he wouldn't take advantage of her.

So he bore the weight of her pained gaze and when she turned away, he resisted the urge to reach out.

With such an uncertain future lying ahead of them, he would not allow desperation to be the foundation of anything they had.