BLUE AND GREY

The dark, grey clouds were thundering upon the already pitch dark sky, blocking the last ounce of the dim light of another dusky and gloomy evening as if reminiscing me to even break away from the little spell of hope still flickering inside me. An illusion that it was all still the same, that nothing has changed. A pain I didn't want to confess, that my little bubble of happiness had busted already. A tear rolled down my already moist cheeks from rain mingling with her sorrows, since once the alive house of mine now would be nothing more than an empty shell.

Those calm yet fierce as a storm, sparkling eyes with the deep blue shades of oceans, as if studded with the emerald greens of fireflies were gone. Those were eyes in which I could immerse myself forever as if mesmerized by some charm. I would float in that sea of sweet honey, nothing but a soothing calm left inside me as all those troubles and worries would fade in the background.

The light drizzle was now pouring against the harsh grey pavements with full force. A strong gust of cold wind blew. I shivered as I wrapped my arms around my already soaked shirt which clung wetly around my lifeless torso. It was raining cats and dogs. It was different today. The downpour was not the usual soft pat of drops I liked to feel against my body, slowly pulling me in her sweet embrace. Tonight it was furious, full of rage, and heartbroken. Each drop was like a sharp blade leaving more scars on my already wounded soul. A sharp pang of pain hit me, as I felt my already heavy head dizzy. Suddenly everything went blur as I lost my consciousness.

Familiar warmth surrounded me as I slowly opened my eyes. A familiar pair of emerald-blue eyes was staring at me intently; a worried look struck his face. If I was dreaming, I wished to never wake up and face the harsh reality of my fate. Wanting nothing more than to fall in his safe arms, I tried to lift my lifeless hand towards his direction, gathering what was left in my body already exhausted from fighting the constant turmoil inside it. Suddenly he vanished into the thin air as if he never existed and was just a fragment of my imagination.

Darkness surrounded me again. This time I found myself standing in front of the office building. I stared at dull grey roads, those old and dusty office buildings, and carefree people passing down the street. Each one lost in its own little bubble, too busy in solving the entangled mess of problems life threw before them. The cherry tree they planted together on the other side of the park had grown into a little sapling now. a red aura settled over the vast sky, as the already setting sun waved its final goodbye. The peace settling over me now disappeared as the clouds started accumulating in the clear sky and it dawned over me, this has happened before.

On the other side of the road, standing at the entrance of the office building was me. It felt as if the world crashed in front of my eyes. Those memories were playing in front of me like an old tape recorder; it was just that the stop button was gone. Dancing with him in the rain when the umbrella blew away and that mischievous grin that spread over my face as I splashed water over him... he winked and gave me a 'you are dead' look as he chased me down the street. Laughing and carefree as a child, I skipped a breath as I remembered that face. It was just as fresh as if was yesterday, the only difference was that my clock had stopped ages ago. Sometimes he felt as distant as a moon, but also close enough to feel his heartbeat.

Perhaps it was just me who thought that way. Maybe I was just an insignificant chapter of his book while i misunderstood myself as the writer. He was the epicenter of the little earthquakes I felt whenever I saw him. There was a vibrant rush, an unfamiliar sense of tingling which rushed through me every morning. Sometimes this new version of myself intimated me. Now it feels as if I lost my spirit. There was this piece of heart I gifted him and now this broken thing even if repaired, would always be aching. I have built walls I would never allow someone to penetrate, cause he shook my entire foundation...

This was all too hard to take. Warm tears gushed down my cheeks as I crumbled on the floor. It felt like he was calling me from a distant island at the other end of the world. Terror seized me as I woke up all sweaty on my hospital bed gasping for air. A sense of relief flooded through me as I realized

IT WAS ALL A DREAM...YES, A BAD NIGHTMARE!

Holding my hand firmly and sitting beside my hospital bed he had dozed off in my lap. The same boy with emerald-blue eyes and who smelled of coffee, he was the one I felled in love with.