Begin Again || Nate Maloley

|| Chapter 21

A/N: This chapter is happening simultaneously as the last one.

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I snuck back into the apartment, careful not to get the attention of Jack nor Andrea. Whatever was in the fridge was calling me and I was shouting back at it to leave me alone. I won't binge...I won't binge...maybe just one teaspoon of cookie dough then I'll go back to bed.

And I did go back to bed...only I brought the cookie dough with me. No matter how puffy my eyes were, I couldn't sleep. My mind was running at a million miles a minute. So I turned the TV on and watched movies until the sky faded into a dark blue again.

'So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.'

"Ya lying!" I shook my head while watching Noah stake his claim for true love. I thought about how guys say one thing and don't act accordingly. Even though I had watched most of The Notebook, I ejected the disc, putting in Bad Boys II where I recited the dialogue word for word.

The clock read 6:56 AM and with a groan, I shut the TV off and threw out the cookie dough wrapper I licked clean. I laid in bed and thought about what kind of sleep I expected to get considering I had class in three hours. The answer was all of the sleep. I wasn't going to class today and probably not tomorrow. It bored me. Even if I did get the rest a proper human being required, I'd still fall asleep in class. Everyone keeps saying that I have control of my own life and I'd like to believe that. I don't admit to having it downpacked, but I can at least start with avoiding the stress that comes with dragging myself to class. I shouldn't have to drag myself anywhere if I didn't want to. And quite frankly, I could do without more exhaustion and tears.

Today is possibly the day that Nate might do something he'll regret for the rest of his life. I doubt breaking up with me qualified as one of those regrets. I never wanted him to beg or chase after me, I wanted him to make the right decision. He's very smart despite how others look at him but after last night, I'd say his judgment is extremely clouded.

I slept for 30 minutes before my pestering thoughts woke me back up. A glass of warm milk usually does the trick but I needed something stronger...like whiskey or an allergy pill. I went into the kitchen and found a small bottle of Jack Daniels but then put it back down, knowing I'd polish off the entire thing. When I went to head to the bathroom's medicine cabinet, I was stopped by Jack who was still here. Andrea had already left for school but Jack had no classes today.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

"I'm grand," I reply sarcastically.

"You and Nate broke up, you're not okay."

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, squinting up at him. I look over at the living room window and roll my eyes once I see the curtains had been pulled to the side. "Eavesdropping? Really Jack?"

"I had to make sure he wouldn't hurt you!"

"What, so you're my guardian angel now? Do me a favor and stay out of my personal life!"

I push past him and down the hall to the bathroom where I reach into the medicine cabinet for the Benadryl.

"Liv," I hear Jack call out as he approaches the bathroom. "I'm sorry, alright. I should have never kept messing with Andrea after we kissed."

I scoffed as he made this about him again. "You arrogant son of a bitch. I lusted after you and loved you from afar since I first met you...when I was invisible to you. I sat and watched night after night while you got down with every girl that was prettier than me or more in shape than me. Then I finally lose the weight and I'm over the moon that I even got to dance with you. My anger for you goes beyond you hooking up with my supposed best friend after we kissed."