Begin Again || Nate Maloley

|| Chapter 20 - Nate's POV

I never let a girl make me cry since Jackie killed herself. I never cried with Mya. It barely even hurt when we split up. But with Olivia?

Fuckin' Olivia...

She had absolutely no idea. I felt something with the girl ever since she first opened the door. But I never admitted to that. She was beautiful to me, but a natural kind of beautiful. The kind I wasn't used to and didn't know how to handle. Maybe my first words to her should've been different. I didn't mean Catfish in a bad way. But I was happy with the way things eventually turned out. Plus, when she gets mad at me for little things, it was kinda sexy.

I love her...I fuckin' love her...

That's all that was in the front of my mind. Loving her. And she loved me too. So I had hoped she would understand my reactions to finding out about Alex and what I have to do now. Whatever happens to me, I hope she'll always know that I left my love with her, never took it away. 

Driving back to the house was difficult. I kept needing to pull over to scream and cry. I know I left her on a bad note. But I truly didn't know which way to go. I didn't have time to figure it out anymore. I just needed to see her again just in case...you know.

When I get back to the house, there are a few extra cars parked out front. I didn't recognize them so I took the pistol out from the back of my waistband and prepared myself for what might wait for me on the other side. Turns out it was only Foosh and a couple of other guys he knew from across town. They had all ordered Chinese food, laughing around the table.

"Take it easy Skate, they're cool," Foosh said as he dished himself some more chicken fried rice.

I put the gun back in my waistband and joined them. 

"This is JC, that's Kian. We have a plan, pretty easy," Foosh stated.

"Okay, what is it?"

"We're gonna have you meet up with Kalin."

"What? Why me?"

"I'm the one that stabbed Myles, are you stupid? I show my face first, I'm a dead man. But don't worry. As soon as we see him, we'll be three guns to his one. I know he's gonna bring heat."

"I-I still don't understand the plan."

"You're gonna call him right now and tell him that you wanna meet. Tell him that you want back in, that I'm fuckin' crazy and you need that sense of family again. Tell him that you wanna meet on common ground, not his turf but not in public, an empty road maybe. When you find out, let us know. I'm gonna ride with you and stay hidden but we're gonna have JC and Kian set up on the sidelines, watching the whole time. He's gonna wanna check you for weapons so you gotta show up bone dry, it'll make him feel safe."

"This whole thing doesn't make me feel safe, to be honest."

"Come on, don't be a puss. Listen, once he checks you, that's when you tell him to get rid of his weapons and any of his boys he'll have with him too. Then I'll come out and the guys are gonna shoot out his tires."

"And then?"

"...Then I'll put him out of his misery."

I took a deep breath. I never saw someone get shot before and I was never an accessory to a crime neither. I realized how extreme the situation was getting now that there was an actual plan, but I couldn't back out now.

+

I sat in the parking lot of my job. I was off today but I was just gonna pick up my check...probably my last check for a while if not forever. I kept checking my phone to see if she had called and I kept checking her Twitter and Instagram to see if she posted anything...and nothing. My worst fear, more than my own impending doom, was that she was spiraling out of control again. Maybe she went back to binge eating or maybe she was just crying in her room all day. Whatever it was, I didn't want her going through it. Maybe I was being selfish and maybe it wasn't up to me to avenge Alex. All in all, I felt useless and helpless. Like the song goes, ain't no sunshine when she's gone.