MALEVOLENT HEART | TK

Chapter One

So this is the only book I seem to have inspo for at the moment

***

"My past has tasted bitter for years now
So I weild an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today."

Taehyung's head shot up from his desk—which sometimes acted as his bed—when that well-known alarm started booming in his ears. He left for the door instantly, passing by some residents as he did so, not caring about their stunned looks and surprised faces as they watched him sprint like a madman.

He used to be like that as well during his residency years. He'd watch more competent surgeons run around shouting commands and orders and he'd panic because, at times, he didn't know what to do either. As time passed, he learned what had to be done and now he was standing in the same place as those surgeons he used to respect.

Truth be told, most of the time Taehyung still didn't know what to do but that was how his line of work was.

They had to rely on instincts and their proficiency most of the time because there truly wasn't a guidebook on how to save a life. Of course, they had to have the knowledge but Taehyung knew that only memorizing books wasn't the right path to becoming a prosperous doctor, not when he's seen so many gifted ones fail once they were put face to face with a real crisis, with a life that needed to be saved.

You had to be born for it, had to have the guts and the ambition to save lives to be a thriving doctor.

Once he finally arrived at the ICU, Taehyung was confronted with the reality of being one.

The three people laying on stretchers were the reality he's been living in for years, the reality he's already gotten accustomed to.

Inhaling deeply, Taehyung put on a set of sanitary gloves then moved towards the first patient.

"What's the situation?"

Another man, a resident, looked up with panicked eyes after hearing his voice. When Taehyung looked down, he noticed that the boy's hands were pressed tightly on the leg wound to stop the bleeding. It was chaotic and, from the look on the boy's face, Taehyung could tell that it was his first time assisting such a catastrophe.

Still, he took an intense breath, then replied to his question because that's what they were supposed to do—they were supposed to stay calm.

"Car casualty. Three people were part of it—one of them was not badly hurt but the other two suffered more trauma. One has a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, nothing too serious, but this man was on the side of the impact." Taehyung nodded, examining the papers the nurse had provided him within the meantime. "His ribcage was fractured on the right side and a bone punctured his lung."

Taehyung gave the awaiting nurse the statements back, then bent down, checking on the man's vitals. He sliced the man's shirt with thorough movements then slowly brushed his fingers over his ribcage to find the right area.

Ever since becoming a surgeon, Taehyung's always taken notice of his instincts. Perhaps that was the reason why he had accomplished so many things in such a short amount of time, why he had such a promising team on his side or why he never felt frightened whenever he needed to take action.

"Call Doctor Min and get ready for surgery." He told the nurses and residents around him, watching as they all nodded before taking off with the man on the stretcher.

After checking on the other two victims and making sure they were stable, Kim Taehyung walked towards the place he knew he belonged in.

The surgery room.

***

"Good job, everyone," Taehyung said once they eventually got out of the surgery room, bowing towards his team and watching as they followed his motion.

"It's your achievement, Doctor Kim. It wasn't even your shift and yet you took the lead in this surgery. Thank you." One of the nurses said, her eyes crinkling from above the mask.

Taehyung simply gleamed at that before eventually turning around and leaving for the locker room to get changed. His first-hand surgeon followed behind him with sluggish strides but Taehyung was already used to his antics.

After they both discarded the surgery clothes in a bin and changed back into their usual ones, Taehyung turned towards his colleague—and friend—with a smile on his face.

"Don't you have another surgery in a few hours?"

Min Yoongi turned towards Taehyung, the mask that had been covering his face now gone. His lips rose in a faded smile, one that was enough because Yoongi never truly smiled, not after everything he's been through.

"I do. It's the CABG for that nice lady in room 201. I volunteered to take the lead in this one."

Taehyung hummed, already knowing who Yoongi was talking about. There was an old woman in room 201 that didn't have any relatives left beside her only son who happened to be a complete asshole since he never came to visit. Yoongi had become a bit too soft for her, telling Taehyung every time that she reminded him of his deceased grandmother.

Taehyung knew how much Yoongi had loved his grandmother and how broken he was for losing her, even now, after years. So he truly understood his friend's reasoning.

As they walked outside the locker room, Taehyung glanced at his friend, then put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you'll do fine. You're a remarkable surgeon, hence you're on my crew. Believe in yourself and everything will go well."

Yoongi offered him another smile before taking off, Taehyung doing the same but in the opposite direction.

His shift was almost over and he couldn't wait to go home and catch a few nice hours of sleep. The past few days had been draining for him since he had taken part in emergency surgeries a lot. Of course, there were other heart surgeons in their hospital, but since Taehyung was the chief of their department, most of the surgeries were dropped in his hands, especially the riskier ones.

He didn't mind. Taehyung loved saving lives. He wouldn't have become a surgeon if he wouldn't have enjoyed doing that. But, at times, everything became exhausting.

At times, he felt like he needed a break from everything. Still, no matter how tiresome everything could become or how tired he'd get, Taehyung was sure he wouldn't ever be able to give up being a surgeon.

It was what he was best at and, every time he'd pick up a scalpel, every time he would look someone in the eyes and realize he had saved them, Taehyung would remember the reasoning behind his career choice—his mother's words.

"Humans are delicate, Taehyung. We never know when it's our last day or when a catastrophe will strike but we're still not frightened. Do you know why humans are not afraid? Because there are those like us, people who give their best to save others. Humans are fragile, Taehyung, but their faith makes them strong. Become a doctor people will have faith in, Taehyung."

His mother's words had stayed with him ever since he was young and he made sure to recall them each time he felt too close to the verge of the ridge.

His mother—even if she wasn't with him anymore—and her words were the threads that kept him bound to the earth, the strings that kept him sane.

With a loud sigh, Taehyung took his suitcase, then left his office with stagnant strides, deciding to find the peace he needed in the stillness and vacancy of his apartment.