in another life

denial

Hey ash. I miss you. I was wondering how life is in New York; I know your quite busy dealing with all your problems at the moment that's why you can't reply of course. Anyways I went out for the first time yesterday Ibe dragged me out he said Hes worried about me everyone keeps saying they are worried about me; I don't get why. I can't wait for you to come to Japan I even made a spare room for you and I made a mini library because I know how much you love the library that you sneak off to all the time, I also got all your favorite snacks to I hope you like it: oh and also when you come to Japan bring the whole gang I hear Jessicca and max got married now I bet little Michael is so happy to have his dad back. It would be good for max to also see Ibe he has been on his feet so much lately so it would be nice for him to chat with his best friend. Anyways I will see you soon when you fly to Japan.
Love eji.

"Hey eji I'm home" shouts Ibe from the door soaking wet from the rain
"hey Ibe how was your day" eji smiles
"Oo it was goo-" Ibe was cut off by the letter that was sat on the table Infront of eji "what's that?"
"Oh, this it's nothing" eji stretches trying to cover the letter
Ibe distracts eji whilst grabbing the letter and reads it. His face drops at to what he read "eji when dd you write this?"
"Oh, just now why" eji exclaims snatching the letter out of his hand
Ibe gives a look of concern and sighs "eji....were you going to ship this to ash" 
"Yeah, why can you help me I haven't got any stamps and I also nee-"
"ENOUGH EJI!" Ibe shouts. Eji jumps back surprised that he was shouted at. He knew that Ibe never shouted at him or got mad either. 
"what's up Ibe I'm just trying to ship a letter" he explains clueless
"ASH IS DEAD EJI AND YOU KNOW THAT" eji stops dead in his tracks with his back turned to Ibe 
"Why would you lie about that? Ash is coming to Japan remember."
"Hes not coming to Japan Hes not in new your eji Hes dead...Hes dead okay you just have to accept that Hes gone. Forever." 
Eji drops to his knees tears streaming down his face "DONT YOU THINK I KNOW THAT I KNOW HES DEAD HE HAS BEEN FOR THREE YEARS HES GONE HES GOONE HES GONE HES GONE HES GONE HE LEFT ME ALL ON MY OWN I NEED HIM IVE ALWAYS NEEDED HIM HE PROTECTED ME HE PROTECTED ME FROM EVERYONE DINO, AURTHUR, YUT LUNG HE EVEN KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND TO PROTECT ME WHEN HE COUD HAVE KEPT SHORTER"

Ibe stares blankly and pulls eji into his chest to give him a hug, eji sobs heavily shaking he was pale a very weak figure as if he hadn't eaten or slept properly since ash died, his touch was cold and gentle, he hadn't cut his hair since ash either because that was the last thing ash touched, he even strains his eyes by wearing ashes old glasses when he doesn't need them. Hed let himself go so much.
"I'm so so sorry eji I didn't mean to shout. How about I go get us something tasty and we can talk over a beer huh"
"Yeah, sure sound good I'm going to wash up in the meanwhile"

Ibe left to go get some food from the store and meanwhile eji looked through a scrapbook of photos he took of ash while in New York. He took of his glasses flooded with tears trembling "I'm sorry Ibe I love you and thank you so much you have done so much for me I will forever be grateful" he wrote of a damp piece of paper as the tears fell onto the page.