Being Open to Receive

Being Open

Something I know I struggle with is accepting and receiving help, abundance, and blessings. I feel myself cringe and fill with guilt whenever someone offers help to me. I even run into this when my husband does it, so it isn't about the other person, it's all about me!

I'm the one who has trouble accepting help. I'm the one who's inner mean girl always pipes up and screams, "you can do it yourself! You don't need help! That person doesn't have any more than you do, why should you accept assistance from them? You're going to make them feel like they're being used. You're a bad person if you accept what they're offering you!"

It has taken me a long time to recognize that monologue from my inner mean girl. It's taking even longer for me to turn her off and accept what is being offered.

It started with taking my husband's hand when he offers to help me get out of my chair. I didn't want to take the assistance because I didn't want to hurt him, or for him to hurt himself helping me. I also didn't want to admit that I was having trouble getting up on my own, especially since I had COVID in January 2020. I'm tired more easily and it's often hard for me to breathe. One day I realized I needed his help, whether I wanted it or not, and I started accepting his help and saying thank you when I was up. It was hard for me to make that decision and I still debate with myself when he holds out his hand. It gets easier every time I accept the help, though.Physical help is one thing, but often my biggest problem is with accepting financial help--especially from my parents. 

I was estranged from my Father for about 20 years. We reconnected about three years ago, right about the time my dog Buster died. My father and step-mother offered to give us money to buy a new dog. I tried for a very long time to say no, thank you, but they really weren't giving up. My husband pointed out that this might be their love language--giving gifts--and that by refusing, I was essentially refusing their love. That got me.

I was enjoying reconnecting with my father, but we were still in a very awkward stage where we didn't really know how to relate to one another. I wanted more than anything to understand him and connect with him, but I really didn't know how. Accepting the money was the first step to better connection with him and it made a big difference in how I felt in the moment and how it felt to be connected with him.

Later, when we were in need, I was forced by circumstances, to ASK for financial help and boy was that a tough one. There's part of me that always expects the answer to be "no" when I ask for help. The immediate "yes" from them, the no-guilt offer of assistance and "what else can we do to help?" made a huge difference in my own acceptance mindset. Yes, I cried--yes, I'm crying now--because I feel like a failure that I need help as a 50-year-old woman, but I'm willing to accept the help because I now understand that the universe has many ways of giving us what we need. It may not be how we envision it, but the help comes when we are open to accepting it.

And that's the point I'm making here. You have to be open to accepting help before it comes your way or you'll miss the opportunity. I know I have issues accepting anything, but help especially. I feel embarrassed and guilty. However, because I know this about myself, I can stop the thought train wreck that can lead me down the dark path to isolation and stress and refocus my energy on being open to accepting help, to receiving the bounty of my manifestations without limiting where they come from or how I receive them. I've also made a point of saying yes to help when it's offered and I'm working on not feeling guilty about it.

If you think about energy like its water, what happens when you block the flow of water, say from a garden hose? Just put your hand over the nozzle to stop it. You get soaked, right? Water goes everywhere but where you want it to. Energy works the same way. If you put up an arbitrary block like, "I don't want to burden others with my problems," (Which, by the way, is the phrase I have used many times to justify either saying no to, or not even asking for help) instead of asking for help, you are going to end up sending the energy all over the place instead of receiving focused help.

So, what are you blocking by not accepting the help others offer? How can you change your mindset to one that allows you to be open to receiving from the universe, even when what you desire arrives in a way you didn't expect?

If you'd like help with this process, please feel free to contact me on my website: www.soulmateseekerslovecoach.com.