She Was Always There (Eremika Story)

Emotions

Mikasa gazed at the sky, enlarged above her. It was passed dark, but the stars dazzled.

Mikasa's eyes traced their way down to the scarlet cloth around her neck. In this moment, knowing it was there made her feel more suffocated than it did safe. She rested her hand on the cloth and gripped it. Mikasa didn't have the words to explain what she was feeling.

The words couldn't come out, instead they came out and poured down her cheeks from her eyes.
Mikasa began to cry. She gripped the scarf harder, her cries growing in volume.

She didn't recognize who she was anymore. She couldn't believe Eren's words, but she wondered if they might've been true. It could have explained so many things, but Mikasa has always been true to her feelings for Eren and THAT was fact.
So why, why did she fall apart into pieces when he said those words even though he may have been lying?

Mikasa cried for what seemed like forever, hyperventilating. She's used to holding it all together....she hadn't cried since Sasha...

Every bit of hope for things so be normal again, for problems to be resolved just felt so far away. How could Mikasa keep it all together with all that is happening and the encounter she had experienced with the one she loves?

After some time went by, Mikasa calmed down. She was silent. All that could be heard was the crickets in the night.
Mikasa remained seated on the petite bench that held her and all of the emotional baggage eating her away.
She had pushed out everything she could, emptying her head cloud...while it was now ready to fill up for everything that came next and the cycle would repeat and she'd be silent again.

It was like a sick joke. Her life being the fucking water cycle in a way.
Mikasa reached up to her neck, taking hold of her scarf gently. She began to pull hard enough for the scarf to come undone, the release of it making Mikasa feel able to breathe.
She stared down at the scarf, holding it in her hands as if it could shatter at any moment.
She carefully folded it up and placed it neatly on her lap.
Her eyes made their way up to the sky, focusing on the gleaming stars. She softly said to herself
"Where do I go from here?"

Mikasa rested her body, breathing calmly and being in the moment with her surroundings.

Moments went by and she felt a warmth creeping up.